Thursday, June 4, 2009

ADDICTION: Part 3 - In Which I Lose Interest In Further Discussing Addiction

So, in this, the last of what I had hoped would be a beneficial 3 part series looking at addiction and it's role in my life, I no longer really have anything to say about it. Meh, oh well. The first 2 parts were beneficial.
Okay, actually, one last thing:

I know I have to get into twelve step and get a sponsor, and I love the fact that, though it's a cliche, it really actually will completely work if I work it. That is Justice: Acting in accordance truth.

So for now, I think I'll just check-in with how I'm feeling:

I'm feeling happy. I feel happy because I got a new client today at work, and even though my companies services are as desired as ever, agencies are keeping a tighter than ever grasp on their purse strings, so today's new acquisition, though relatively small, feels really good.

I am uncomfortable. I am nervous. I am scared.

I don't feel good because I know that I have to get into recovery through twelve step, but I am hesitant for some reason. I know part of it is simply that I am really struggling in social situations, like anything outside of my house, at this point due to my weight.

I am excited. I am loving. I am peaceful. I am listening to great music.

Great music goes a long way.

Hmmm, well, there I am.

Good times.

And a post script to those wondering what book I wrote about in my last blog that was so important to me this last year: Atlas Shrugged.

Putting aside it's merits from a strictly writing stand-point, and focusing on it's philosophical viewpoints, I do have problems with it: it's characters are drawn very bluntly with too much black and white, and I disagree with some of the concepts of objectionism as relates to inter-personal relationships and their purpose and make-up, as well as it's view of compassion (true compassion, not mis-guided, mis-placed compassion).

However, as it stands, it is still my favorite book of all time. Despite it's flaws, the book got me closer to the basic truths of life then any other I've ever read, and, interestingly, for a book written by an extremely devout Atheist and heavily imbued with that Atheist view point, Atlas Shrugged, through opening my eyes to some fundamental truths, actually paved the way for a wide variety of ideals and values I eventually embraced, including finding faith in God.