Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Wade in the Water

Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'
Found at

"Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'."
-Bob Dylan "The Times They Are A-Changin'"

Internally, I know the times, for me, are changing.

I can feel the tides of change rising again within me.

Now I'm, once again, at an early stage in working on this, but I am working. I am, if you will, doing more than hopelessly watching the waters rise around me.

I'm starting to embrace that the waters of change are rising because I'm causing them to, and the more effort I put into what I want in this life, the higher those waters get, which means I then have to put more energy into not drowning.

And so on.

It's a very tenuous, but impressive cycle.

A cycle that I know only allows me to thrive if I put the work in on every key part of it.

If I work to change, but do not work to keep afloat in the sea of forward momentum I'm creating, then I'll start to slowly sink back.

And so on.

Today was not the best day; there were big mistakes.

But, there were little successes, and I know that filling up my life with those is the key to the big ones following suit.

So, food:

Two cups fat-free milk

One can chicken
Six tablespoons mayo
Six pieces of bread
Half cup parm cheese
Quarter cup honey roasted peanuts

Two packages of ramen noodles

Three chicken burritos
One piece of bread
Two tablespoons chipotle mayo

I did 33 wall push-ups before work this morning.

I'm again starting to take those little extra steps; again beginning to feel a bit more in the moment; once again purposefully choosing to do things right the first time. More and more, and so-on, and so-forth.

For me, a week of eating right or exercising is great, but without those little things that are crucial to long-term, sustainable change, they're not enough.

Lets not kid ourselves...the waters of change are ebbing and flowing for all of us, all of the time. It's just that sometimes those rising waters represent the negative movement and momentum we're creating and engaging cyclically, action-by-action, day-by-day.

But sometimes - sometimes those waters we feel swell around us can be our strength and our growth. And it's up to you to harness that power, and, well...

...Then you better start swimmin'

Or you'll sink like a stone

For the times they are a-changin'.

Monday, December 7, 2009

What I've Done

Linkin Park - What Ive Done
Found at

I'm sick with step throat, and that sucks.

What does not suck is that I've decided to write a post about how my day was, as a means to help me be mindful, honest, and focused on what I really want (thanks to Losing Waist for the idea in a recent email)

Here, today, is what I have done...

I ate the following:

Two glasses of fat-free milk
One whole cucumber

Ten ounces of mozzarella cheese (rough estimate)
Four flour tortillas
Three tablespoons of chipotle mayo
Two cups of white rice
One cup of shredded pork
One ounce of cheddar cheese

Five tablespoons of cream cheese
Two cups of brown rice
Two Sun dried-Tomato Boca Burgers
Two cups of brown rice
Two flour tortillas
One wheat English muffin
One ounce of cheddar cheese

...and a partridge in a pear tree.

Well, that is a pretty heinous day.

Exercise for today?


How do I feel?

Regretful, frustrated with myself, but I already feel much more positive, because just writing this blog is a step in right direction; a good choice I've made.

Okay, next, I think I'll go through the exercise of being very clear about what I really want, and what I really don't.

What I DO NOT want:

I don't want to binge
I don't want to eat too-big or too-unhealthy meals.
I don't want to remain sedentary all day.
I don't want to only take in (films, TV, books, newspapers, etc) fluff in my spare time.
I don't want to only take in things with negative messages that are in contrast to my values in my spare time.
I don't want to choose the easy way out, even in little ways (e.g. throw a piece of paper at the trash, miss, and not pick it up.)

I don't want the outcomes of the above things. I don't want to be unhappy, unmotivated, remain morbidly obese and die.

What I really DO want:

I want to eat healthy, average-sized meals.
I want to get exercise every day.
I want to take in positive, affirming, motivating, challenging things in my spare time.
I want to do what is right in all that I do.
I want to be honest.

I want to do all the things above because doing them makes me happy, motivated, energetic, strong, empowered, and healthy: mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Now, I let what I've done today go. I don't hold onto the guilt, anger, disappointment, etc.

I've shifted my focus forward.

My focus is now on those things that I truly want moving forward in the next moment of today and leading into tomorrow, and what choices I will make in order to get them.