tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86846093621849297162024-03-12T18:09:17.339-06:00Stages of ChangeStages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-51110646285146220472010-07-08T12:45:00.010-06:002010-07-08T13:27:50.109-06:00Days 9, 10, 11, 12 & 13Turns out I'm still not great at blogging everyday.<br /><br />I could be.<br /><br />But so far I've chosen to not be.<br /><br />Meh, I still going to plan on doing it everyday, and working towards that end, but it's not nearly as important to me as exercising every day.<br /><br />Also, you may notice I changed the look of my blog for the first time. I did that because I realized that though I originally really liked the look of it, it no longer reflected who I'm becoming. The original black scheme was about hiding and denial.<br /><br />I strive now to be about light and truth.<br /><br />I also replaced my black and white "head in my hands" picture of myself I had as my profile shot. I did that also because it's no longer who I am anymore. That was about being hopeless, and some "why me?" victimization, and immaturely romanticized drama.<br /><br />I strive now to be about success, self-accountability, and moderation.<br /><br />---<br /><br />Days 9, 10, 11, 12, & 13<br /><br />Did I exercise?<br /><br />Well, let me just say this:<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ONEGQSlZGWjGwj6rcjT2V46ysBAFkZRd4n87jqRzKPno80m3yvsf2NRDsvL_ZouToOgtW1bnOuqzwgMMls2ghRAE-BP0GP4amuDCAh671L5iqS2L4lQOqAqJet3p9UqO6fHxEBIj3lU/s1600/IMAG0287.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491612239359122770" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 260px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6ONEGQSlZGWjGwj6rcjT2V46ysBAFkZRd4n87jqRzKPno80m3yvsf2NRDsvL_ZouToOgtW1bnOuqzwgMMls2ghRAE-BP0GP4amuDCAh671L5iqS2L4lQOqAqJet3p9UqO6fHxEBIj3lU/s400/IMAG0287.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491610744873568594" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzZTonlDrBMSi1GR76Yaxnljt-lZvJKS6Phso0XxH_rd3ST1z-3FPDXGgbAeeHgU5HZUhFTUMmgXeZi-fCNov9ZvqApsF-51JiOktFCYE8BqUIGJjoDsodvJkoi43vx9t5L4LxR2vcTHY/s400/IMAG0280.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div></div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimEzKZ9XnJyQKqIg37t6FsNOFBClrrEYmkq4T-soLisvrIFwouU8tYNIDbZusOB_sqBCxOuooedlsmjWl7oKvRX2DyOdQqr_KVRO9pGlJ1NF9kCiNYFZql0Hvl3ugGdJqYV9v11Ze27Ws/s1600/IMAG0283.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491611032297118562" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 228px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimEzKZ9XnJyQKqIg37t6FsNOFBClrrEYmkq4T-soLisvrIFwouU8tYNIDbZusOB_sqBCxOuooedlsmjWl7oKvRX2DyOdQqr_KVRO9pGlJ1NF9kCiNYFZql0Hvl3ugGdJqYV9v11Ze27Ws/s400/IMAG0283.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2EQPF7VVMxCUBd6iGa8H_2vA_WAW9luUL4qJIcehUraiyGJwjQnnTwsZrQdmBAJDHGZESiMJi7H3SFAn9-hx23fTH2U08rVFmxPFt9tFKAV38FMFbylz5x_-H6USOCAVl7IHo61s7PKE/s1600/IMAG0274.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491610454634373970" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 236px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2EQPF7VVMxCUBd6iGa8H_2vA_WAW9luUL4qJIcehUraiyGJwjQnnTwsZrQdmBAJDHGZESiMJi7H3SFAn9-hx23fTH2U08rVFmxPFt9tFKAV38FMFbylz5x_-H6USOCAVl7IHo61s7PKE/s400/IMAG0274.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpSeyz3jkbbJ3skFoimYKFDSKI-0RfQcbc2xTp9Iqy8NK4BResN7zQYafijzsARg3Q7vncMMlVuodNzMEjvEflIoyIo3S76RJi__QKhmwYIZzVPvEu7YejaXD7RXwKxe_gQaH-MbwgP_U/s1600/IMAG0273.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491608894661028178" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpSeyz3jkbbJ3skFoimYKFDSKI-0RfQcbc2xTp9Iqy8NK4BResN7zQYafijzsARg3Q7vncMMlVuodNzMEjvEflIoyIo3S76RJi__QKhmwYIZzVPvEu7YejaXD7RXwKxe_gQaH-MbwgP_U/s400/IMAG0273.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><div></div><div><br /><br />Yes.<br /><br />Saturday: 40 minutes of basketball, and drove a large bucket of golf balls at the range.<br />Sunday: 100 wall push ups and 10 sit-ups (pseudo sit-ups, I got up on each as far as I could)</div><div>Monday: 35 minutes of lawn mowing<br />Tuesday: 40 minutes of lawn mowing<br />Wednesday: ½ mile walk and 75 wall push ups<br /><br />Next.</div></div></div></div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com85tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-88953130124059733802010-07-03T10:46:00.005-06:002010-07-03T12:07:11.961-06:00Day 7 & 8I didn't post yesterday.<br /><br />I didn't post because, well...<br /><br />...<br /><br />I forgot.<br /><br />So I can definitely tell you why I didn't not post though.<br /><br />It wasn't because I didn't exercise.<br /><br />No sir.<br /><br />I'm not stopping.<br /><br />I'm not stopping.<br /><br />I'm not stopping.<br /><br />I will not quit.<br /><br />I will not give in.<br /><br />I will continue.<br /><br />I will persevere.<br /><br />I am tenacious.<br /><br />I am strong.<br /><br />I am working hard, and I will reap what I am sowing.<br /><br />Day 7 AND 8:<br /><br />Did I exercise?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB1K6wMbgkBJITWCUAFlgvRiSeUYNasn_RwCVtijWBgguDy62WkmJSgMb1xucO4z_khqUefyjYhPst9OzzWXWYTX9e2hlrtLQJCjbXylsudy8EuNwGvdolgnFW1SSI2RcihGI_GUpJT9M/s1600/IMAG0234.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489735312888914130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 398px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB1K6wMbgkBJITWCUAFlgvRiSeUYNasn_RwCVtijWBgguDy62WkmJSgMb1xucO4z_khqUefyjYhPst9OzzWXWYTX9e2hlrtLQJCjbXylsudy8EuNwGvdolgnFW1SSI2RcihGI_GUpJT9M/s400/IMAG0234.jpg" border="0" /></a>Ohhhhhh yeeeessssss<br /><br />One hour and 15 minutes of basketball Thursday, 40 minutes of basketball yesterday.<br /><br />Pay the man, indeed :)<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489736029208319762" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bUwFeP5scBJKyIUTYGYbJRGfg1qgVT_dm1azRlCNJsC5G1l8jLCxLKvmVjITAIWA_UuB8oGPzKmisEABMcVh8sj08u2aIEHyRCFA9IHpiyvTrIN2z5rhE5d6_Rymg8S6WG46ZmIt62Q/s400/IMAG0261.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489741026702124290" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSU1rDhyv0Uqj_GidOQK-C9_uYuRpODzn4TuBPMWcS0ppd8GqTIXFSDmzb0ZMv3b6dJwD42NM8poZ4KgVIzR0-wcNpx445bIzO8PP5myyzy6iKlkWHV_agmUEZrj5ZwxP45zkW8gMmH7Y/s400/IMAG0263.jpg" border="0" />Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-20894430022085296602010-07-01T15:59:00.003-06:002010-07-01T16:24:10.406-06:00Day 6You know what is right.<br /><br />What is true.<br /><br />You do.<br /><br />I do too.<br /><br />It may be harder to discern on occasion in the rush of the day, or in the swirling melange of one's multitude of life issues and elements.<br /><br />But at our core, we still know.<br /><br />Sometimes we purposely pretend that we don't.<br /><br />We dismiss the quite voice reminding us inside.<br /><br />We do what we "want" instead.<br /><br />But then, sometimes, after we do what we "want", we feel bad, unhappy, guilty, ashamed.<br /><br />And that?<br /><br />That is good.<br /><br />It is healthy to feel bad when we make a poor choice; a choice that is incongruent with what we know to be true.<br /><br />Not to dwell or stew, but just to feel it. To recognize and acknowledge we chose improperly.<br /><br />Let's not pretend and be blind; we are where we are today because of ourselves.<br /><br />I am who I am today because of me.<br /><br />Good or bad, it is our choices that count.<br /><br />External things have happened and always will, but our lives are still a reflection of what we've done with every single moment of choice with which we've been presented.<br /><br />You know what's right.<br /><br />What is true.<br /><br />You do.<br /><br />I do too.<br /><br />What will you do with that power today?<br /><br />---<br /><br />Day 6:<br /><br />Did I exercise?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnqDZxzt0sH7aPtHxs6hvWJuQRuxHFXo2IFK4gslW4kn9CIB0UJVqJvwPYKdXZc1Rw0g2KqunGl4qckVzTwlKeeoPWQFj3S16YufejVEKtCHMY-DGbJHWNi9bBYfEW90MurksNfNN1oe8/s1600/IMAG0234.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489061723924030210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 398px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnqDZxzt0sH7aPtHxs6hvWJuQRuxHFXo2IFK4gslW4kn9CIB0UJVqJvwPYKdXZc1Rw0g2KqunGl4qckVzTwlKeeoPWQFj3S16YufejVEKtCHMY-DGbJHWNi9bBYfEW90MurksNfNN1oe8/s400/IMAG0234.jpg" border="0" /></a> Yes, I played 20 minutes of basketball.<br /><br />And so I was paid.<br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cGguD84CIw5XBE4Js3c3csEl5S2CY6JMnX_9MbG41IyWuoUJQrxgFUeM3BOGZ3PzEZZCgsinL6ZENs66SoLT6dE4acKdczyaGDh2zayDfqTYgNyIhtmmRW2B-orW4GY7YfMNcv2pCFE/s1600/IMAG0260.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5489061292523487682" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2cGguD84CIw5XBE4Js3c3csEl5S2CY6JMnX_9MbG41IyWuoUJQrxgFUeM3BOGZ3PzEZZCgsinL6ZENs66SoLT6dE4acKdczyaGDh2zayDfqTYgNyIhtmmRW2B-orW4GY7YfMNcv2pCFE/s400/IMAG0260.jpg" border="0" /></a> </div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-48890473939905987582010-06-30T15:41:00.005-06:002010-06-30T15:58:45.341-06:00Day 5I reread my very first blog post (December 14, 2008) today.<br /><br />I really enjoyed it so I am re-posting it below in it's (relatively brief) entirety:<br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQZ6qIKBUHYHwa_IHJMM1nqOIdpL_enjBIl8LZn1XXxetSuOfC4006kDHj9-i91Uh1yVASe7NlQXxBi4ROYeT8fC-FXrAdxV-obcWfEu3DUvPMHv7vnunerBM7siTAd0VvfZZjopDk0tg/s1600/first+blog+capture.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488686082866514226" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 70px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQZ6qIKBUHYHwa_IHJMM1nqOIdpL_enjBIl8LZn1XXxetSuOfC4006kDHj9-i91Uh1yVASe7NlQXxBi4ROYeT8fC-FXrAdxV-obcWfEu3DUvPMHv7vnunerBM7siTAd0VvfZZjopDk0tg/s400/first+blog+capture.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><em>"Above are screenshots of three of the hundreds of weight loss related blogs I've viewed in the last 2 days. And those three have something significant in common with 95% of those blogs: they didn't last long. At all. The majority have been under 10 posts total, and then...nothing.<br /><br />Years pass.<br /><br />I feel for all those would-be bloggers because, like most people that have struggled with their weight, or the larger concept of trying to create long-lasting, positive change in their lives, I have been there. I've launched a thousand "brand new days". New plans, new strategy's, new beginnings, new classes, books, groups, living situations, diets, lifestyles, routines, etc, etc, etc.</em><br /><br /><em>It never gets any easier; failing at a new approach, which is hard because it's so much fun at the start. I once heard the nature of man described aptly as something to the effect of "Great at creation, poor at maintenance". </em><br /><br /><em>But, when it comes to human nature, another common theme is perseverance. So, in the interest of attempting to persevere, I am following in the footsteps of both those who failed and left their blog like a virtual ghost town, and those who triumphed. I am starting a blog to track what I plan to be a journey of weight loss and overall success in a life previously marked by failure.<br /><br />Good luck to me, and to serve the double purpose of serving as a self-motivating final statement of this post, and a potential piece of advice to those who pass by here in the future if I too abandon my post: Never Give Up."<br /><br />---<br /><br /></em>I didn't exercise much yesterday, but I did a little, and "a little" is 100% more exercise than I get when I'm not striving for success, so I am counting it.<br /><br /><em><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488685328940707810" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 398px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiEyu2z-1J11_25hdZA9APHpxU414QNYvmnkbjJZLHLoWpDaqlz-n3MgSpvO3BmRGNYVlL6osHe9joczPOjQXTfjWCwVnrhHl5SSlPYTAmme84aTRYjzOGvlRvzHTJZsjuq64UK3shUwo/s400/IMAG0234.jpg" border="0" /></em> I did 50 wall push-ups.<br /><p>And for that, I received a healthy George Washington.</p><em><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488685828765480226" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip8-9LGZqg8HKRhzM8wkgMafzuv_FSep71OB9ysxs50IyBv96KAR6ZVENMVhr4WbCx2qD2wEjjRNMy8o_HhmBPzlBsxjxH20eoVEJCgPGhR4xGDFY3ZBxswFUU87rDi49fDGIx2QFZn_U/s400/IMAG0248.jpg" border="0" /><br /></em>Never Give Up.Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-59938960445686072142010-06-29T16:48:00.008-06:002010-06-29T17:04:09.829-06:00Day 4Yesterday I got up at 5:30...<br /><br />I took a one hour and fifteen minute lunch...<br /><br />I feel asleep last night easily and slept soundly...<br /><br />Today I am sore...<br /><br />What does it all mean?<br /><br />Well, let's just say...<br /><br />Day 4:<br /><br />Did I exercise?<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488332251580389410" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 398px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi03B1nEDo4A2X0-z2iQ3nQmmPrDk6NRMeLZC3FmVVAYJxrdC_A2EM_uZ3pviJfULk_yUHZ51wUeM1YLJPrMECx9E59gruIC28fMYJ7o3z5CZ2ndme9lL32D_6UjtceLns6Js6qY4UxKBw/s400/IMAG0234.jpg" border="0" /><br />Yesssssssssssssssssssss.<br /><br />I got up at bright and early and joined 3 friends for an hour of basketball.<br /><br />Then, during my lunch break, I played another hour of basketball.<br /><br />Today I feel like I spent <em>two hours</em> yesterday engaged in full-on cardio while vigorously working muscles in my arms, back and shoulders that I haven't worked in a while.<br /><br />(I did)<br /><br />And so...<br /><br />Dolla dolla bills y'all.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5488333563233102674" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4JDKH5UzfKLsxeNGiIhcXXhAFTFmfRhUq2uaSGjziDWPTC5j3aKq_XvKkv742OoZFK0IKJN9aZZ8rilOw7PULs2QT7C6Xj-vvTTyp9LU0heh4TVXyDHQqxaraxHXPk3J0rV1s83qFFUM/s400/IMAG0246.jpg" border="0" />Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-74430462207171119252010-06-28T07:24:00.015-06:002010-06-28T08:27:15.684-06:00Day 3I haven't regularly posted since last summer, and since I'm committed to doing this 125 days of exercise in conjunction with 125 posts, I guess there's a chance that people who used to read this will come back and some new people may start. <div><br />So, just to get on the same page then - allow me to reintroduce myself:<br /><br />I started this blog December 14, 2008.<br /><br />At the time I was 620 lbs.<br /><br />I've obviously had ups and downs since then (quick history of my weight can be found at the bar on the right.)<br /><br />I like blogging.<br /><br />It's been a great place to get my thoughts and feelings out; to energize and inspire me, and to keep me moving.<br /><br />I enjoy reading other blogs. I have just restarted that in the last few days after months without reading any. I love seeing other people succeed.<br /><br />I am a recovering alcoholic.<br /><br />I went to rehab for alcohol and my weight in 2008.<br /><br />I work doing sales and marketing for a a business who's focus actually is on assisting people in creating change in their lives.<br /><br />I'm an excellent piano player.<br /><br />I'm originally from Alaska.<br /><br />I've hurt my family, friends, and loved-ones for years because of my issues (addictions, self-destruction, and the selfishness and many other failings that go hand-in-hand.)<br /><br />I'm doing a good job slowly but surely starting to rebuild and repair those relationships.<br /><br />I love Johnny Cash, the Velvet Underground, Ben Folds, Billy Joel, the Beatles, and the White Stripes.<br /><br />I've come to believe in God in a powerful and personal way.<br /><br />I was hit by a car in Rome once.<br /><br />My hair started going grey at 12 years old.<br /><br />I work very hard at my job and am damn good at it.<br /><br />I once had a wild black bear in my bedroom.<br /><br />---<br /><br />I was asked recently in the comments how I lost 113 in 4 months (this Jan through April).<br /><br />Well, let me answer that by saying: I also once lost 116 pounds in 11 weeks (Oct-end of December 2005), and earlier last year I lost 118 pounds in 9 weeks (again, see weight loss numbers at right for details).<br /><br />I'm grateful for those numbers, and am hoping to produce more of the same moving forward.<br /><br />That said, there was never any trick or shortcut during any of my greatest weight loss periods. For instance, during the 113 pounds lost earlier this year and during the 118 lost in 9 weeks last year, all I did was eat about 1500-1700 calories every day, consisting largely of lean meats, vegetables, a little cheese, milk and lots of beans. Another dietary thing is that I drank lots of water and lowered my sodium intake to no more than 2000 mg a day.<br /><br />From an exercise standpoint I walked 3-5 times a week, did 50-150 wall push-ups a week, and eventually in both cases started playing basketball 3-5 times as well.<br /><br />Also, in all of the above cited weight-loss periods, I started from a weight of no lower than 494 lbs, and as high as 667 lbs, so there's always been plenty of weight dying to come off.<br /><br />---<br /><br />I read Tony's blog over the weekend (<a href="http://theantijared.blogspot.com/2010/06/it-happened-today.html">The Anti-Jared</a>) and he mentioned me: </div><div><br />"Stages of Change, you wrote a great post about how people can change. How I did not believe that was possible. I was wrong, people can change.They just have to want it."</div><div><br />And I just wanted to say thanks to Tony. I really dig that comment. He is right. It's not always easy for any of us to see, but it is the truth. We can change, we "just have to want it". Damn right. Tony's amazing and inspirational multi-pronged transformation proves it. I love it.</div><div><br />His comment reminded me of that old post I wrote, which I liked because it fired me up. If anyone is interested, you can read it here: "<a href="http://stagesofchange.blogspot.com/2009/08/ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.html">Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes</a>"</div><div><br />---</div><div><br />Lastly, yesterday was Day 3:</div><div><br />Did I exercise?</div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487822431295322658" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 398px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJXIlSHK_5LgJD1rQrDBNTKx2OSai_8DY0lXgKFvkV0hpxp-IfgVhqtOU7bQVN4Mg_gx7qp76PuGmVwY-EBKg5Zz_Ifxf50ycD4QKiil40HA114PhDQ-dgM-wspNXQ6lMG1wzOnmwn0JA/s400/IMAG0234.jpg" border="0" /> <p></p><p>Yes I did.</p><p>I walked a one mile loop on a local trail.</p>So, I received another $1 bill.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487822765516604050" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 282px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPVQjt32nMTB34-v-eSNJ2ofl-5Lp2tSgo_PDlskGzn9wxPLIrZWvbCTnbvitfocYmy7dENcTOnbqSa_ufyYjSvWfV6Zl9peagxxByAskEeHxlpUI736uRHqBFgQGkmUwmx5PjWrL424g/s400/IMAG0240.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div><em>"The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become."</em> - W. E. B. Du Bois</div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-86379766214633100502010-06-27T14:37:00.010-06:002010-06-27T16:30:10.861-06:00Day 2Yesterday was a very productive day.<br /><br />I got a variety of things done that were beneficial yesterday and will prove helpful in the week ahead.<br /><br />My last post before the start of this 125 days of exercise thing was about how losing weight and changing your life is not "hard"<br /><br />I just wanted to say, in case there is any doubt...<br /><br />That is still true.<br /><br />This is not hard.<br /><br />I just wanted to reaffirm that. And not in a cocky way. I don't care about me being right, I do, however, <em>love </em>that it <em>is </em>right.<br /><br />And what is right...and what is true...is that everything is only ever about how we choose to see it.<br /><br />That concept is one I've written about before, but meh, I'll never stop writing, thinking, and talking about it, because it's the truth, and it's glorious, seriously.<br /><br />Not to say that life can't be a struggle: that tragedy doesn't strike, that fluke accidents don't happen, that additional work isn't unexpectedly given to us.<br /><br />But so much of life is about our choices.<br /><br />And the biggest one is how are we going to feel in the moment. I can choose to feel labored, over-worked, under-appreciated, stressed-out, victimized, helpless, hopeless. Or I can choose to feel positive and put my best foot forward.<br /><br />Yesterday, I choose the latter.<br /><br />And yesterday, was Day 2 of my 125 day challenge:<br /><br />Did I exercise?<br /><br /><br /><p><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487555986685702802" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 398px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEMfSJhhgT43In3T6PYcnOtme0RzfMcUTI5GQu4kYcTsHWfDD5AxQYrHomNTWvwGsJq5n0JKtGyptuTIC78heY-YjJipwj_x6qSegJBWvWBl-VQh3OXdXD19uafU2OMLt-BuUA0gLT-Pg/s400/IMAG0234.jpg" border="0" /><br />Yes I did. </p><p>I again played basketball, this time for an hour, from 6-7am.<br /><br />As a result, I earned dollar number 2.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487556237359197842" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 271px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq_PI226hBwwikqHRCD1fXbcKixFHd1y4xMBtBb6yBGwjWZ2wBOhdOao3Q4WLEAPF2stT46Q0mwTYjfa_ulZl6FVfmYXA0CpWu-eFoWvdDKopoNAJxz3kOoSx8E9ivp_3eoBXMfSRUBAo/s400/IMAG0244.jpg" border="0" /> </p><p></p><p align="left"><em>"We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. "</em> - Stephen Covey</p>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-41037147309128955692010-06-26T12:02:00.008-06:002010-06-26T12:22:45.094-06:00Day 1Since last fall, I've only posted a few times.<br /><br />Here's an extremely brief recap of what's happened:<br /><br />I went from 534 lbs in November<br /><br />To 600 lbs in January, 2010.<br /><br />Then I got all the way down to 487 lbs by April 24 (the lowest weight I'd been at since summer of 2007)<br /><br />Now I sit around the mid 500's I'm guessing (I plan to go weigh soon to see the real number)<br /><br />Ups and downs.<br /><br />Throughout the last 9 months however, regardless of the ups and downs, I have thankfully continued to grow as a person, I have solidified a new spiritual direction, and I have learned futher valuable lessons and gained new insights.<br /><br />Now on to my plan to use the money Anne H sent me that Jack Sh*t awarded me as motivation towards a goal. Below is my original submission for Jack's giveaway, outlining my idea:<br /><br /><em>"My 10 year high school reunion is later this spring, in a little over 100 days.<br /><br />I would break the hundred dollar bill into one hundred individual dollar bills.<br /><br />I would give them all to my sister's family, with one caveat: I would start a goal to workout every day for one hundred days, not killing myself, just doing it...every day. And at the end of every workout, I would go see my sister and she would pay me one dollar. I would post pictures and updates.<br /><br />After 100 days, (and hopefully, having lost enough weight to go back to Washington and see friends and family at less than 100 pounds higher than I was at 18 years old), all the dollars I had earned would be passed on to another weight loss blogger to do something cool and worthwhile with via this exact type of giveaway...(and) if I workout all one hundred days, and thus earn back all $100, then I will add one hundred of my own, and pass on $200 to some other WL blogger."<br /></em><br />Well, it turns out I've come up short on that goal already, because my reunion is about 80 days away instead of 100.<br /><br />So, the new concept is to excercise every day for those 80 days hoping to arrive at my reunion not much bigger than I was in high school (yes, I was 400 lbs senior year), and then excercise every day for another 45.<br /><br />After the 125 days are up, I will indeed be giving away the money to another WL blogger.<br /><br />Now, yesterday was the start of the plan...<br /><br />Day 1:<br /><br />Did I exercise?<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487144768284305538" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 294px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkqLrE56XpHUShAp10Emf2G_DYzgKmGKboAzTRvleBUF1RebVzvh5KsOaYH8o6_B8VY4vgzjHLIdBYz2tFMG7fateWKTcv1OKGf0zz9DLRo2h1zepqT06S1WpZrGC-Yo-wFdwZ150zYCM/s400/IMAG0232.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487145254937702770" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 287px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Cv8nCvuDtlKgw4NsAgwoa19v1SGqXMdApSKAoCbxAK0k4MAqFyPS_xhvdkjRGzM2UiPHgXwMJzotpPyUHyLmUyfOvjceAT0zG0_32xWPtVyu_DYctSyGTqENRbdoAHK58F9kPfD955I/s400/IMAG0233.jpg" border="0" /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487146051369528162" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 398px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDIsDkwIR6QIVWWyDrklGvbT0ce3siYiKNzkRC-puoP1kKj4IHgR2aaGHy4QQVnI9AtKY6vreXfz3pjE6EdmDo36pZVDi3XstGxPsZVmZaCqgYN-PWQPuced7uvQ66tdo28K831f_ibrw/s400/IMAG0234.jpg" border="0" /><br />Yes.<br /><br />I did.<br /><br />I played 40 minutes of basketball, all of which were cardio, and 15 of which was very strenuous.<br /><br />As a result, I had a family member pay me $1 of the $125:<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487146626319203106" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 274px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5H2izMA3m7Ez5yIqZdfYmn9KiyZkzDhzMkW7JOETnrqqaSWGgmz306I27kVd-XmpVndOjYHybos1VQkjMzVygkxUyA9-0rq4D0UsyKqpXHpbp-EOb0jCMSd4YAgsI9qAne1jTfcQ7JBo/s400/IMAG0241.jpg" border="0" /><br /><p>Day 2 awaits.</p>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-11524485044863103632010-06-24T07:53:00.029-06:002010-06-24T08:46:24.702-06:00I'm Sorry Jack Sh*t<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjIYfiFSYCXl7fPbnUzFhHdqFeMeBksWyADXKYKyeozVaiSgDVHL2D-Uqw9O_AK9hXrTv9vHY1lx4NeF04jDhKqhei4ksuMP7qJFPkGC0YL30Uo-RDzmUb6o8SJCiHtMhYiUFd_oIq5zo/s1600/IMAG0167.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486350826650114706" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjIYfiFSYCXl7fPbnUzFhHdqFeMeBksWyADXKYKyeozVaiSgDVHL2D-Uqw9O_AK9hXrTv9vHY1lx4NeF04jDhKqhei4ksuMP7qJFPkGC0YL30Uo-RDzmUb6o8SJCiHtMhYiUFd_oIq5zo/s400/IMAG0167.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0OByHioCxLRbv4EfeOtHIGJyK3uLDvyriyu2hOApfb0OjaajE47JRobzNRsFQYuDB95D2XewNpzuh-t043FrkQEyzI5h8P51-ep4fu4MR92A_j8xDUJWZeZ27Rt6kFENM68GN4L9R47Y/s1600/IMAG0171.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486350588021829666" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0OByHioCxLRbv4EfeOtHIGJyK3uLDvyriyu2hOApfb0OjaajE47JRobzNRsFQYuDB95D2XewNpzuh-t043FrkQEyzI5h8P51-ep4fu4MR92A_j8xDUJWZeZ27Rt6kFENM68GN4L9R47Y/s400/IMAG0171.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjopf2qYkZgoqpavl8L3pw1vPn6jIlfZWR5_ZcPG0F6UOzl4kSeQ0Ip8eaZsReF7pLsQTT5j-IQc6IX9dTO0uY-eEFCur6yag_CQjCWhRMQqjIRFil1Cvb4OoUFnrzywUmWfKZOBV2fNo/s1600/IMAG0174.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486350332589516082" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjopf2qYkZgoqpavl8L3pw1vPn6jIlfZWR5_ZcPG0F6UOzl4kSeQ0Ip8eaZsReF7pLsQTT5j-IQc6IX9dTO0uY-eEFCur6yag_CQjCWhRMQqjIRFil1Cvb4OoUFnrzywUmWfKZOBV2fNo/s400/IMAG0174.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6D3cNteDC8jUM-kYk-IDnuTzeisNR8QwMFpmgMt3XNaD2L6htvLGz8Usvk8cUsM0UqgTS6ETWmxIxI1FHnwxdWFvLiLUBpFe1rtr_UCgYMST4kRmCrNy77tBMSzSguODFyVxak-mNYqg/s1600/IMAG0181.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486350015838991698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6D3cNteDC8jUM-kYk-IDnuTzeisNR8QwMFpmgMt3XNaD2L6htvLGz8Usvk8cUsM0UqgTS6ETWmxIxI1FHnwxdWFvLiLUBpFe1rtr_UCgYMST4kRmCrNy77tBMSzSguODFyVxak-mNYqg/s400/IMAG0181.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5PaNDgp7M1i-YbfyMJkUpngg041KybiI_eIQz69fLPGxTAAjDczmTlXQtIV1O9Qyb8M7E8PsykEEYvef2nlNGbWC3ep791D-ZFPrtzMizpgE41VD44Kx7nJImaG4Jo2YVc57VVN-yEEc/s1600/IMAG0185.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486349732699497890" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5PaNDgp7M1i-YbfyMJkUpngg041KybiI_eIQz69fLPGxTAAjDczmTlXQtIV1O9Qyb8M7E8PsykEEYvef2nlNGbWC3ep791D-ZFPrtzMizpgE41VD44Kx7nJImaG4Jo2YVc57VVN-yEEc/s400/IMAG0185.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwZ5VLyDYYwmZQjZnzQRiTBbbhkK5XJrCSfcaPg9tJvTkyIqc_1paAh4awK6nK362AvTn4vHbyZ4OTLqieiNadokQ-f1ROlCF7zI9x1B4tICwBrEKY7syYMyXx2fKNtywdq5Lyt26veqE/s1600/IMAG0189.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486349460774161154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwZ5VLyDYYwmZQjZnzQRiTBbbhkK5XJrCSfcaPg9tJvTkyIqc_1paAh4awK6nK362AvTn4vHbyZ4OTLqieiNadokQ-f1ROlCF7zI9x1B4tICwBrEKY7syYMyXx2fKNtywdq5Lyt26veqE/s400/IMAG0189.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAB2EernZZmqAcQJLduWoPr9bfIC2B-znY5RV6gy6tfWh18_HQxXOi_aACg-E0BvDd1FShyphenhyphenopFKyri-ET6QznaGlby6ouD5KPOMCLPgZslCDjRVEl_MB6l4uzIvwdYim2begYCqJfuWoM/s1600/IMAG0193.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486349168945988066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAB2EernZZmqAcQJLduWoPr9bfIC2B-znY5RV6gy6tfWh18_HQxXOi_aACg-E0BvDd1FShyphenhyphenopFKyri-ET6QznaGlby6ouD5KPOMCLPgZslCDjRVEl_MB6l4uzIvwdYim2begYCqJfuWoM/s400/IMAG0193.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkiZL54sA7ZTqZet_sHIcQSSEnT_XgCh8ZkIQZhDd1tGKjv-zny5R0zolzxXnkCdyH-v2Vmy_TyjB53azFp_qd-gR6957CHpfOHmpMPn5hWcs3NS_bPC0pwFwJszbfJVOp_Zojb_MLHCU/s1600/IMAG0195.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486348930531365922" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkiZL54sA7ZTqZet_sHIcQSSEnT_XgCh8ZkIQZhDd1tGKjv-zny5R0zolzxXnkCdyH-v2Vmy_TyjB53azFp_qd-gR6957CHpfOHmpMPn5hWcs3NS_bPC0pwFwJszbfJVOp_Zojb_MLHCU/s400/IMAG0195.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMtDgIajU0BGgy2vLvld9bPHiqZyXC1ik9yQFdlNCTT1x1q_PAJgVvvzwAnyJxJJWuPwxzXwBqhqzElypEAt2sLhvK0bHD4Y-6qLtYz-nKXeDQqIVKeH9nkWCcFD8i6cGQ1wJgLvT0Vr8/s1600/IMAG0201.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486348713153620818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMtDgIajU0BGgy2vLvld9bPHiqZyXC1ik9yQFdlNCTT1x1q_PAJgVvvzwAnyJxJJWuPwxzXwBqhqzElypEAt2sLhvK0bHD4Y-6qLtYz-nKXeDQqIVKeH9nkWCcFD8i6cGQ1wJgLvT0Vr8/s400/IMAG0201.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXV5cZdHiDWsEA3KaxpuRWox0cfPUMd9ewIBzNK_dXGcAJ_j0RL8sqzncbbKAADsL-ownC-_J8fFUkdDugXMR_0gpKAki-42uYn19e7Tl3LfApr4cGY_JhBlO7J0JOCRK5oCSzq7CsME8/s1600/IMAG0202.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486348178003188690" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXV5cZdHiDWsEA3KaxpuRWox0cfPUMd9ewIBzNK_dXGcAJ_j0RL8sqzncbbKAADsL-ownC-_J8fFUkdDugXMR_0gpKAki-42uYn19e7Tl3LfApr4cGY_JhBlO7J0JOCRK5oCSzq7CsME8/s400/IMAG0202.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyldpnyeFeKpi4nhSXz5UszwChQQd8n3eG70Ys_-ilnhbxXN-SMxm3cE3IAcJ7Lr5cosgOJjZsZGZVDHjvslYanj2K1v50Qn60pftAxA6yUAH8N1fkKwPmjZAPpJKbLs-IMJnrTFh_XGs/s1600/IMAG0203.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486347936948592242" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 274px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyldpnyeFeKpi4nhSXz5UszwChQQd8n3eG70Ys_-ilnhbxXN-SMxm3cE3IAcJ7Lr5cosgOJjZsZGZVDHjvslYanj2K1v50Qn60pftAxA6yUAH8N1fkKwPmjZAPpJKbLs-IMJnrTFh_XGs/s400/IMAG0203.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEdTpmxRbTMphMIvPEvoqT_rVR89rCQb8qcf-K52ZxOQdBVcU91LpNEgfEbWrmcXzPxyD3WyOQ5XlCrYp7BZnu4apZh4xCET0fdvgFkAjKJcJ5TStBUk0PTSe5PfSumx5_VJLYej7L3Pc/s1600/IMAG0205.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486347753658102466" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEdTpmxRbTMphMIvPEvoqT_rVR89rCQb8qcf-K52ZxOQdBVcU91LpNEgfEbWrmcXzPxyD3WyOQ5XlCrYp7BZnu4apZh4xCET0fdvgFkAjKJcJ5TStBUk0PTSe5PfSumx5_VJLYej7L3Pc/s400/IMAG0205.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq3eB9s1eRsa8wIC_q4oFilw06RrmL-EvqrOdV0gusYtf-Fvf5Gown-hIPd_xnndNgxsY9EktTpxIj96GVMCBQQyEWT07FoHvOeTkRSmg-ZJybekhu-Qst1HDyMKszSkW-tUyn6Vbuah0/s1600/IMAG0206.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486347514707678354" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq3eB9s1eRsa8wIC_q4oFilw06RrmL-EvqrOdV0gusYtf-Fvf5Gown-hIPd_xnndNgxsY9EktTpxIj96GVMCBQQyEWT07FoHvOeTkRSmg-ZJybekhu-Qst1HDyMKszSkW-tUyn6Vbuah0/s400/IMAG0206.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAVLG5EgwWn-aybo1kP0q15XlQoZU3Nmhx2Yy85H8-IFDrpxEJlucgUGDInRLP0x1DuktyxepFttgXMYIkeRUQXu48ohoERxOpAMVBDI70m9gdI5jmfwow9N-hfGp3qpobJ7Qwsq09_lU/s1600/IMAG0208.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486347010498989394" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAVLG5EgwWn-aybo1kP0q15XlQoZU3Nmhx2Yy85H8-IFDrpxEJlucgUGDInRLP0x1DuktyxepFttgXMYIkeRUQXu48ohoERxOpAMVBDI70m9gdI5jmfwow9N-hfGp3qpobJ7Qwsq09_lU/s400/IMAG0208.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYg2gUiX0MnzaDKzUgMFw_DFYvu_kEgEUhQH10V45Zeimy_mooBaAX6MfEnyBITts_pkUaJUCCbs7DWXKhhy7zgr0dU3BMdQsMouoUrkIwQrBdTrLiBsfbuJgSUK-jszKsDSHpYVbln4/s1600/IMAG0211.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486346703434847794" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgYg2gUiX0MnzaDKzUgMFw_DFYvu_kEgEUhQH10V45Zeimy_mooBaAX6MfEnyBITts_pkUaJUCCbs7DWXKhhy7zgr0dU3BMdQsMouoUrkIwQrBdTrLiBsfbuJgSUK-jszKsDSHpYVbln4/s400/IMAG0211.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIY4hRtRr_CP93goj8kS3s7-eh9Uh3x9B5QfP2Sw_3oIoGNsdsOsHCtLZbe-tUfFenEFDAK-emjLTnuBXMquXZTJ_x0LKufD58waaEclN7KSzSiwJGMmLNOJhH7DqdHUyZYM-zLdq3QU/s1600/IMAG0212.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486345757451011122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhIY4hRtRr_CP93goj8kS3s7-eh9Uh3x9B5QfP2Sw_3oIoGNsdsOsHCtLZbe-tUfFenEFDAK-emjLTnuBXMquXZTJ_x0LKufD58waaEclN7KSzSiwJGMmLNOJhH7DqdHUyZYM-zLdq3QU/s400/IMAG0212.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7tftYa45Rukc79vSgurA25SUjlnPZ9Y4TpZJqitrXdMnJ8m5gO3oBM6HEK0hH266YcvCCVbw2_Q1rP3oIhyHRnqXWEumPiK6Zf6vYswLn7W2DW9T4oIvYV_Uh2ZKwJMbexSyaFY756M/s1600/IMAG0213.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486345250692764898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS7tftYa45Rukc79vSgurA25SUjlnPZ9Y4TpZJqitrXdMnJ8m5gO3oBM6HEK0hH266YcvCCVbw2_Q1rP3oIhyHRnqXWEumPiK6Zf6vYswLn7W2DW9T4oIvYV_Uh2ZKwJMbexSyaFY756M/s400/IMAG0213.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8OzsdV-5YRszOgitoUAzwz8_5dj4X6JsfCs_SpvsrhjHt-Kr_ThJDN66rcxo7hBx78i30ZpOXOXkAyCGw2vg0QpZ6Y-H3mlcCkAHyBSj3odc5YHpQyDahZzlGdo0bKgzYLrsY4ew6iAo/s1600/IMAG0219.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486345017344678866" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8OzsdV-5YRszOgitoUAzwz8_5dj4X6JsfCs_SpvsrhjHt-Kr_ThJDN66rcxo7hBx78i30ZpOXOXkAyCGw2vg0QpZ6Y-H3mlcCkAHyBSj3odc5YHpQyDahZzlGdo0bKgzYLrsY4ew6iAo/s400/IMAG0219.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jcX3Vv8ofeH4FshQltJbOjuzVGktvDWvob3gsyM2NsSGgEJo5inapmnpyvCmn6KWM5uP_w6-JW7yCs50Q_i66fyttbeVBpXbgC1HgpMMoaKNlqWTtm9rIdYtHIeuu2ym23x8B_Y4WKY/s1600/IMAG0222.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486344766825302754" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2jcX3Vv8ofeH4FshQltJbOjuzVGktvDWvob3gsyM2NsSGgEJo5inapmnpyvCmn6KWM5uP_w6-JW7yCs50Q_i66fyttbeVBpXbgC1HgpMMoaKNlqWTtm9rIdYtHIeuu2ym23x8B_Y4WKY/s400/IMAG0222.jpg" border="0" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ0pOYZPLPqXVpXuJNXhKwAqDyN4SOmCfn3-IKRMLjb5YLJrhuQgRX-I_YRZ6USMOQouKjUsWt_pKX-W6QrXGr0OewDiCo0fbJKsgbkckqmNr1T6HItW3dzSXFJtBG0NtfTUcbl80H9Gc/s1600/IMAG0224.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486344275503309826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ0pOYZPLPqXVpXuJNXhKwAqDyN4SOmCfn3-IKRMLjb5YLJrhuQgRX-I_YRZ6USMOQouKjUsWt_pKX-W6QrXGr0OewDiCo0fbJKsgbkckqmNr1T6HItW3dzSXFJtBG0NtfTUcbl80H9Gc/s400/IMAG0224.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwhljbLajmBaMMp3C9IUovLOhvne6RsttMJMXnQo-j1I4B1BRM3LeTHEYEbv6MSFQf06JxX4VbtgoroeMIy4YOWDFdFQeC4IJb4Ao4uqYJhuxfrbvl_LOhCIvYbsHzacYl11O4CdcRuX8/s1600/IMAG0227.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486343997202570002" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 239px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwhljbLajmBaMMp3C9IUovLOhvne6RsttMJMXnQo-j1I4B1BRM3LeTHEYEbv6MSFQf06JxX4VbtgoroeMIy4YOWDFdFQeC4IJb4Ao4uqYJhuxfrbvl_LOhCIvYbsHzacYl11O4CdcRuX8/s400/IMAG0227.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNatRg04N3gPj9VR1NM6SdryEjQthM8NCdE8kyTH7EN7A5tmyjkK0S-GAR7yLXwDb0-IR2hc9Fm3f0-T49vhQVOKxNfGel9807igSGdwhqhzqzs2Z_plKhg0Bu1Eayfbz-I9fZzc66tHE/s1600/stay+tuned.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5486342449849005730" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 358px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNatRg04N3gPj9VR1NM6SdryEjQthM8NCdE8kyTH7EN7A5tmyjkK0S-GAR7yLXwDb0-IR2hc9Fm3f0-T49vhQVOKxNfGel9807igSGdwhqhzqzs2Z_plKhg0Bu1Eayfbz-I9fZzc66tHE/s400/stay+tuned.JPG" border="0" /></a> </div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-10537996490655286192010-05-11T21:52:00.007-06:002010-05-11T22:42:40.231-06:00This is not hard.Lately I've found myself saying to a number of people that this is hard.<br /><br />"This" being defined as changing my life in a number of ways, including losing weight.<br /><br />But...here's what I know to be true:<br /><br />It's not hard.<br /><br />It's never hard to do the right thing...not truly.<br /><br />It may be hard to accept mentally that we will <em>do it</em>, but the actually <em>doing </em>is not really hard per se.<br /><br />Yes, it may suck to go work out (especially at first, or after a while of not doing it), or yes, it takes time to change our habits, and yes, it's not fun to ask for help and to take it, etc.<br /><br />But it is <em>not </em>hard.<br /><br />I don't want to argue semantics, so it's possible that people will disagree, but I don't think at the core many of us would ever really disagree with the fact that doing the right thing is actually less "hard", because of a myriad of reasons, all having to do with us feeling better, ultimately, for having done the right thing.<br /><br />Again...yes, if we've struggled with weight or whatever for a long period of time our issues may absolutely seem "hard" to address effectively.<br /><br />Yes, actually addressing them: exercising, eating something healthy vs. unhealthy, asking for help, going to a counselor, acknowledging our mistakes, saying we're sorry and trying to correct our issues with people, facing our reality, etc. ...can <em>seem</em> "hard".<br /><br />But it's not really.<br /><br />It's all about state of mind.<br /><br />I love that I used to be cynical about people who earnestly believed "anything was possible", etc.<br /><br />I LOVE that believing that, and actively thinking that and the many thoughts I've had over the years very similar to that, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,<br /><br />EVER helped me.<br /><br />Never.<br /><br />Because it just goes to show...it's about what you believe, and more importantly, it's about the actions you take to create, or to change, what you believe that matters.<br /><br />Actions lead sometimes.<br /><br />Actions lead sometimes and <em>then</em> our beliefs follow.<br /><br />And then it's all synergy baby.<br /><br />Momentum.<br /><br />And it's up to us whether those actions, beliefs, and momentum are positive or negative.<br /><br />It's up to me.<br /><br />Should I, in the long-term, succeed <em>or</em> fail, I will always know, and be absolutely correct, that the fact is... it's only ever been up to me.<br /><br />I choose to acknowledge the truth that this is a process.<br /><br />A process that can take a massive amount of effort and time and tenacity and commitment.<br /><br />But a "hard" process?<br /><br />meh...<br /><br />Only if I let it be.Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-8337400968972146552010-02-17T22:24:00.002-07:002010-02-17T22:29:08.841-07:00The Pine Box DerbyIt was us.<br /><br />Racing like the wind towards the checkered flag...<br /><br />We were transcending the moment, the flashbulbs lighting up all over as we rounded the final curve...<br /><br />The intensity was mounting, the pressure was building, we were getting so close...<br /><br />All of our loved-ones were yelling and hollering at us from the sidelines...<br /><br />The sweat, and the time, and the money, and the choices, and the sacrifices, and the agony had all led up to this...<br /><br />But then...<br /><br />amazingly...<br /><br />miraculously...<br /><br />we stopped.<br /><br />We stopped racing to the grave.<br /><br />We stopped short: some a bit back from that ultimate ending line, and some only just barely...but we all stopped.<br /><br />We stopped and we started instead to let go of all that time, and money, and choices, and sacrifices, and agony that we had invested in...and wasted on...creating miserable, unhealthy lives.<br /><br />We stopped, and for the first time by God we really, truly <em><strong>listened</strong></em> to what our loved-ones were yelling from the sidelines.<br /><br />We stopped and we listened, and we heard their frantic, yelling, hoarse-voiced begging. With tears rolling down their faces, they <em><strong>pleaded</strong></em>...<br /><br />"Please. Please come back to me."<br /><br />"Please don't die and leave your family here alone..."<br /><br />"Please don't leave us without a mother..."<br /><br />"Please don't leave us without a father..."<br /><br />"Please see how amazing you are and the opportunities you have in this life...they are endless!"<br /><br />"Please don't do this to yourself. Do you not know that you are loved?!"<br /><br />"You are my spouse, my best friend, why are you doing this to yourself?! Please turn around!"<br /><br />"Don't you understand where you are headed?!?"<br /><br />We stopped, and we got down on our knees right there on the track, and told ourselves that we would never go another step further.<br /><br />We stopped that moment and committed to everything and everyone important to us that we would <em><strong>never </strong></em>finish that race.<br /><br />We turned back instead and started on a new path.<br /><br />A new journey.<br /><br />And we are on that road now.<br /><br />And as a result, we will have moments more incredible than our imaginations can even fathom. Those moments are yet for us to <strong><em>live</em></strong>.<br /><br />There is a richness, and a power, and a beauty, and a joy that comes from making the right decisions, and making them as often as possible, and giving your all to every one of them.<br /><br />And all of that is now <strong><em>ours</em></strong> for the taking.<br /><br />We stopped short on that track before, and in doing so we left caskets sitting alone and unused by themselves at the finish line; caskets decaying and breaking apart with age...<br /><br />They sit there still.<br /><br />They were there waiting for us at the end of that race we used to be running. They were put there by us. Those ornate wooden crates were built by our own hands.<br /><br />Yes, and those caskets would have housed our lives that we half-assed, our relationships we destroyed, our opportunities left unfulfilled, our gifts to the world left unharvested, our shattered faith and hope, our atrophied love for ourselves, and for some...our very bodies: bloated, and hollow, and dead.<br /><br />But now the caskets lay in disrepair...wasting away.<br /><br />Because we have the power to choose.<br /><br />We can choose.<br /><br />And choose wisely.<br /><br />We can choose to embrace this gift of a life and create with it whatever we desire. The health, in every possible sense of the word, that we crave, can be ours.<br /><br />So, let our next step be one down that new path.<br /><br />Let us go forth with confidence and passion and love and truth and integrity and 100% effort.<br /><br />Let us speed and fly towards a phenomenal, healthy life.<br /><br />Are you ready?<br /><br />On your mark...<br /><br />Get set...<br /><br />GO!!!Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-22152614940316436822009-12-09T21:54:00.004-07:002009-12-09T22:08:43.720-07:00Wade in the Water<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqT1-KHX56opfcixrY-0NYI5S-DnBq2m3KxBnHy1RtCs3cwXRilQYwQv0X7y0MgOqchNpaPDAEHNoRS_SwycgwuxiU0kdb-HTW0xTsP7S7M3kZt7N5b_eFdLaa3_XnPOcbbfVNebxaRN0/s1600-h/water+on+black.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413468553423084370" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 110px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqT1-KHX56opfcixrY-0NYI5S-DnBq2m3KxBnHy1RtCs3cwXRilQYwQv0X7y0MgOqchNpaPDAEHNoRS_SwycgwuxiU0kdb-HTW0xTsP7S7M3kZt7N5b_eFdLaa3_XnPOcbbfVNebxaRN0/s320/water+on+black.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div></div><div></div><div></div><div><br /><br /><div align="center"><style type="text/css"> @import url(http://skreemr.com/styles/embed.css);</style><br /><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td class="sk-topleft" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-toprow">Bob Dylan - The Times They Are A-Changin'</td><td class="sk-topright" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topright.gif" /></td></tr><tr valign="center"><td class="sk-lightleft3" width="16"><td class="sk-lightback3"><embed class="SkreemRPlayer" style="WIDTH: 290px; HEIGHT: 24px" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" align="middle" src="http://skreemr.com/audio/player.swf" width="290" height="24" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" flashvars="playerID=1&bg=0xCDDFF3&leftbg=0x357DCE&lefticon=0xF2F2F2&rightbg=0xF06A51&rightbghover=0xAF2910&righticon=0xF2F2F2&righticonhover=0xFFFFFF&text=0x357DCE&slider=0x357DCE&track=0xFFFFFF&border=0xFFFFFF&loader=0xAF2910&soundFile=http://www.michaelbeijer.com/image/sb/Bob%20Dylan%20-%20Times%20Are%20Changing.mp3"></embed> <img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; VERTICAL-ALIGN: bottom; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/skreemr_logo_small_name_only.png" /> </td><td class="sk-lightright3" width="16"></td><tr><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-bottomrow">Found at <a href="http://skreemr.com/link.jsp?id=62594554545A6212&source=embed">skreemr.com</a></td><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomright.gif" /></td></tr></tbody></table></div><br /><br />"Come gather 'round people<br />Wherever you roam<br />And admit that the waters<br />Around you have grown<br />And accept it that soon<br />You'll be drenched to the bone.<br />If your time to you is worth savin'<br />Then you better start swimmin'<br />Or you'll sink like a stone<br />For the times they are a-changin'."</div><div align="left">-Bob Dylan "The Times They Are A-Changin'"<br /><br />Internally, I know the times, for me, are changing.<br /><br />I can feel the tides of change rising again within me.<br /><br />Now I'm, once again, at an early stage in working on this, but I am working. I am, if you will, doing more than hopelessly watching the waters rise around me.<br /><br />I'm starting to embrace that the waters of change are rising because I'm causing them to, and the more effort I put into what I want in this life, the higher those waters get, which means I then have to put more energy into not drowning.<br /><br />And so on.<br /><br />It's a very tenuous, but impressive cycle.<br /><br />A cycle that I know only allows me to thrive if I put the work in on every key part of it.<br /><br />If I work to change, but do not work to keep afloat in the sea of forward momentum I'm creating, then I'll start to slowly sink back.<br /><br />And so on.<br /><br />Today was not the best day; there were big mistakes.<br /><br />But, there were little successes, and I know that filling up my life with those is the key to the big ones following suit.<br /><br />So, food:<br /><br />Breakfast:<br />Two cups fat-free milk<br /><br />Lunch:<br />One can chicken<br />Six tablespoons mayo<br />Six pieces of bread<br />Half cup parm cheese<br />Quarter cup honey roasted peanuts<br /><br />Snack:<br />Two packages of ramen noodles<br /><br />Dinner:<br />Three chicken burritos<br />One piece of bread<br />Two tablespoons chipotle mayo<br /><br />Exercise;<br />I did 33 wall push-ups before work this morning.<br /><br />I'm again starting to take those little extra steps; again beginning to feel a bit more in the moment; once again purposefully choosing to do things right the first time. More and more, and so-on, and so-forth.<br /><br />For me, a week of eating right or exercising is great, but without those little things that are crucial to long-term, sustainable change, they're not enough.<br /><br />Lets not kid ourselves...the waters of change are ebbing and flowing for all of us, all of the time. It's just that sometimes those rising waters represent the negative movement and momentum we're creating and engaging cyclically, action-by-action, day-by-day.<br /><br />But sometimes - sometimes those waters we feel swell around us can be our strength and our growth. And it's up to you to harness that power, and, well...<br /><br />...Then you better start swimmin'</div><br /><div>Or you'll sink like a stone</div><br /><div>For the times they <em>are</em> a-changin'.</div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-87482511992986996822009-12-07T19:02:00.004-07:002009-12-07T19:27:19.335-07:00What I've Done<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5sk5LccOnTn6bIJvCiXBCvpGPUX8cxwYkEzIubBp_1NnHhoFflVXW0L6wbc2Nky7VuCmtRxIISOI6z6hNAM_915DIOGPXSC5AVYYQM0PeIGopb5_y3eALl7z9EbBRTBVd_jci9zG2ScE/s1600-h/focus.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5412681129936198098" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 213px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5sk5LccOnTn6bIJvCiXBCvpGPUX8cxwYkEzIubBp_1NnHhoFflVXW0L6wbc2Nky7VuCmtRxIISOI6z6hNAM_915DIOGPXSC5AVYYQM0PeIGopb5_y3eALl7z9EbBRTBVd_jci9zG2ScE/s320/focus.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><style type="text/css"> @import url(http://skreemr.com/styles/embed.css);</style><br /><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td class="sk-topleft" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-toprow">Linkin Park - What Ive Done</td><td class="sk-topright" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topright.gif" /></td></tr><tr valign="center"><td class="sk-lightleft3" width="16"><td class="sk-lightback3"><embed class="SkreemRPlayer" style="WIDTH: 290px; HEIGHT: 24px" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" align="middle" src="http://skreemr.com/audio/player.swf" width="290" height="24" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" flashvars="playerID=1&bg=0xCDDFF3&leftbg=0x357DCE&lefticon=0xF2F2F2&rightbg=0xF06A51&rightbghover=0xAF2910&righticon=0xF2F2F2&righticonhover=0xFFFFFF&text=0x357DCE&slider=0x357DCE&track=0xFFFFFF&border=0xFFFFFF&loader=0xAF2910&soundFile=http://odeo.com/show/11196693/4/download/LinkinPark-WhatIveDone.mp3" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" bgcolor="#ffffff" quality="high" wmode="transparent"></embed> <img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; VERTICAL-ALIGN: bottom; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/skreemr_logo_small_name_only.png" /> </td><td class="sk-lightright3" width="16"></td><tr><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-bottomrow">Found at <a href="http://skreemr.com/link.jsp?id=625D4252535F6316&source=embed">skreemr.com</a></td><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomright.gif" /></td></tr></tbody></table></div><br /><div></div><div></div><div>I'm sick with step throat, and that sucks.<br /><br />What does not suck is that I've decided to write a post about how my day was, as a means to help me be mindful, honest, and focused on what I <em>really</em> want (thanks to <a href="http://losingwaist.blogspot.com/">Losing Waist </a>for the idea in a recent email)<br /><br />Here, today, is what I have done...</div><br /><div></div><div>I ate the following:<br /><br />Breakfast:<br />Two glasses of fat-free milk<br />One whole cucumber<br /><br />Lunch:<br />Ten ounces of mozzarella cheese (rough estimate)<br />Four flour tortillas<br />Three tablespoons of chipotle mayo<br />Two cups of white rice<br />One cup of shredded pork<br />One ounce of cheddar cheese<br /><br />Dinner:<br />Five tablespoons of cream cheese<br />Two cups of brown rice<br />Two Sun dried-Tomato Boca Burgers<br />Two cups of brown rice<br />Two flour tortillas<br />One wheat English muffin<br />One ounce of cheddar cheese<br /><br />...and a partridge in a pear tree.<br /><br />Well, that is a pretty heinous day.<br /><br />Exercise for today?<br /><br />None.<br /><br />How do I feel?<br /><br />Regretful, frustrated with myself, but I already feel much more positive, because just writing this blog is a step in right direction; a good choice I've made.</div><div><br />Okay, next, I think I'll go through the exercise of being very clear about what I really want, and what I really don't.<br /><br />What I DO NOT want:<br /><br />I don't want to binge<br />I don't want to eat too-big or too-unhealthy meals.<br />I don't want to remain sedentary all day.<br />I don't want to only take in (films, TV, books, newspapers, etc) fluff in my spare time.<br />I don't want to only take in things with negative messages that are in contrast to my values in my spare time.<br />I don't want to choose the easy way out, even in little ways (e.g. throw a piece of paper at the trash, miss, and not pick it up.)<br /><br />I don't want the outcomes of the above things. I don't want to be unhappy, unmotivated, remain morbidly obese and die.<br /><br />What I really DO want:<br /><br />I want to eat healthy, average-sized meals.<br />I want to get exercise every day.<br />I want to take in positive, affirming, motivating, challenging things in my spare time.<br />I want to do what is right in all that I do.<br />I want to be honest.<br /><br />I want to do all the things above because doing them makes me happy, motivated, energetic, strong, empowered, and healthy: mentally, physically, and emotionally.<br /><br />Now, I let what I've done today go. I don't hold onto the guilt, anger, disappointment, etc.<br /><br />I've shifted my focus forward.<br /><br />My focus is now on those things that I truly want moving forward in the next moment of today and leading into tomorrow, and what choices I will make in order to get them. </div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-52569029705104371402009-11-25T03:28:00.005-07:002009-11-25T03:52:23.528-07:00The Bravery<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivZusj2aiw3MpwglLwli5SV_mmQeV6-7bF86G9qZo2AIgsLnIOJeLOt1Zic_pLq2m2QOjx1iLWkVIjrOPVpJz_34xGAlSuFTYEegbTXzXrRGvBWVPYSAOX5hPgiluCmZsI-3V4hUS8HMQ/s1600/utah-sunset-lg-wall.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5407986387000603842" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 218px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivZusj2aiw3MpwglLwli5SV_mmQeV6-7bF86G9qZo2AIgsLnIOJeLOt1Zic_pLq2m2QOjx1iLWkVIjrOPVpJz_34xGAlSuFTYEegbTXzXrRGvBWVPYSAOX5hPgiluCmZsI-3V4hUS8HMQ/s320/utah-sunset-lg-wall.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div align="center"><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td class="sk-topleft" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-toprow">The Bravery - Time Wont Let Me Go</td><td class="sk-topright" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topright.gif" /></td></tr><tr valign="center"><td class="sk-lightleft3" width="16"><td class="sk-lightback3"><embed class="SkreemRPlayer" style="WIDTH: 290px; HEIGHT: 24px" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" align="middle" src="http://skreemr.com/audio/player.swf" width="290" height="24" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" flashvars="playerID=1&bg=0xCDDFF3&leftbg=0x357DCE&lefticon=0xF2F2F2&rightbg=0xF06A51&rightbghover=0xAF2910&righticon=0xF2F2F2&righticonhover=0xFFFFFF&text=0x357DCE&slider=0x357DCE&track=0xFFFFFF&border=0xFFFFFF&loader=0xAF2910&soundFile=http://198.85.71.234/dwyersc/web%20120/tests/The%20Bravery%20-%20Time%20Wont%20Let%20Me%20Go(Never%20Back%20Down%20soundtrack).mp3"></embed> <img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; VERTICAL-ALIGN: bottom; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/skreemr_logo_small_name_only.png" /> </td><td class="sk-lightright3" width="16"></td><tr><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-bottomrow">Found at <a href="http://skreemr.com/link.jsp?id=625944575D596410&source=embed">skreemr.com</a></td><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomright.gif" /></td></tr></tbody></table></div><br /><br /><p>"Whenever I look back<br />On the best days of my life<br />I think I saw them all on T.V.</p><p>I am so homesick now for<br />Someone that I never knew<br />I am so homesick for<br />Someplace I will never be "</p><p>-The Bravery, "Time Won't Let Me Go"<br /><br />I was reading Sean Anderson's <a href="http://losingweighteveryday.blogspot.com/">always stellar blog </a>the other day.</p><p>A topic he touched on struck me: "I am not a victim, I refuse to be one..."</p><p>I'm glad he mentioned that and discussed that concept, because it is always a valuable thing for me to revisit.</p><p>I've only, in the last year and a half of my life, even considered that concept; really, truly considered it. The concept of playing the victim.<br /><br />I know that blaming someone else for our problems and thus wallowing in self-pity stops us from living a healthy, happy life. That's just a fact. No arguments, none. Period.</p><p>What I never used to see was how easy it is to do just that.</p><p>I never knew how closely my romanticising of various things in life were just self-pity, victimization, and martyrdom masquerading as poignancy, art, and feeling.</p><p>I listened to the song at the start of this post a lot in the winter of 2008 I think, while I was struggling with my weight and other issues of the time.</p><p>The song is nothing particularly special, musically or lyrically, but it spoke to me then. The lyrics combined with the music made me <em>feel</em>. The song, like so many others have, evoked a lot of emotions for me: loss, hurt, anger, regret, etc. </p><p>Above all else the message I chose to take from that song, without even realizing it, was: </p><p>"You're a victim. You've fouled up. Others have fouled you up. Mourn the past and the present. Mourn your future.</p><p>Mourn your future, because it is nothing but a consolation, a silver medal (at best).You'll never have what you truly want. You'll never be who you could have become."</p><p>Brutal.</p><p>I've always liked to think of myself as a romantic in a broad, pretentious, Renaissance-style sense. Someone who relished the gritty truth about life and all the complex feelings it brings. Someone who saw life for the intricate shades-of-grey reality it was, someone who read books, listened to music, and watched films that spoke deep truths and moved me powerful ways.</p><p>I know now that I've been nothing but a coward. A coward who tried to substitute a real life (one that actually comes with the various ups and downs, but one where I have have power, responsibility and accountability) for a bullshit life where I pretended I had no power and so could thus play the martyr for any consequences of my reactionary lifestyle (all the while romanticizing this "beautiful, but oh so painful" thing that was "life" - which was not really much more than thoughts, dreams, lyrics, quotes, books, films, and disowned actions.)</p><p>I don't want to romanticize life. I want to live it honestly, completely. I know I own my actions and choices. I don't need to hear poignant lyrics or see a moving film to taste reality, I want to envelop myself with reality everyday, standing up for my responsibility in every moment. That is life.</p><p><em><strong>People</strong> screwed me up.</em></p><p>Yep. So what?</p><p><em><strong>I've </strong>screwed up a lot.</em></p><p>Yep. So what?</p><p>Until I stop letting either of those two facts have any hold on how I make decisions, I'll never be able to succeed in righting those wrongs and I'll never become the person I am here to be, for myself and for others.</p><p>When I'm honestly and completely free from any victim mentality, it's all possible. And I can do it. I don't have to be a coward, I can be strong.</p><p>And I will.</p><p>There's nothing romantic about it, but it's real.</p>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-6332355312776704592009-11-16T08:29:00.008-07:002009-11-16T10:53:50.358-07:00Weigh-In: Moving Forward<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJG_lbxcKbgcuGwZgsZPjZ0XqLRbG9AkvASJ6Ak3-Ed2AHO_We3pbDjIOCLNszO4CYT71ilpeU3rAkCZeQMHZHKBy26g5rnXx9A4hFWyG-Zbmb8-Mm6ldZlUtMZFXr3CEFpm6-gI_CYlc/s1600/path.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5404723993231707330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 216px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJG_lbxcKbgcuGwZgsZPjZ0XqLRbG9AkvASJ6Ak3-Ed2AHO_We3pbDjIOCLNszO4CYT71ilpeU3rAkCZeQMHZHKBy26g5rnXx9A4hFWyG-Zbmb8-Mm6ldZlUtMZFXr3CEFpm6-gI_CYlc/s320/path.jpg" border="0" /></a> I had a pretty significant relapse around food for a few weeks in October. I even relapsed with drinking at a point.<br /><br />It sucked.<br /><br />It alllllll sucked so much.<br /><br />I take full responsibility for eating all the crap I ate. I take full responsibility for ending up drinking.<br /><br />I gained back almost 40 lbs.<br /><br />I have said it before, but let me say it again: I did not get to 667 lbs earlier this year by always being selfless, self-assured, open, honest, even-keeled, moderate, etc.<br /><br />I got there by being, in general, a guy with a lot of unresolved issues.<br /><br />Well, I have been working on dealing with issues for the past 6 months.<br /><br />I have been working on creating change from the inside out.<br /><br />And, I've fallen down a few times along the way.<br /><br />I've made mistakes.<br /><br />I've had failures.<br /><br />I've made some very poor choices.<br /><br />BUT, I am trying.<br /><br />AND, I am succeeding.<br /><br />I will right the wrongs long term.<br /><br />I will continue to lose all this weight. Not because I'm dieting, but because I'm working on living in the moment, choosing as best I can with what I can control, letting go of what I can't; I'm loving myself and being good to my body, mind, and soul.<br /><br />I will slowly continue to build up trust with myself. I will slowly continue to build trust with others. I will repair relationships and make reparations as best I can.<br /><br />I will ultimately succeed because of this bottom line: I am working hard, through simple, fundamental actions, to become a better person in every single way.<br /><br />After two weeks back in the saddle, I weighed this morning: 534.<br /><br />I lost 28 pounds.<br /><br />So, despite my missteps and failures, I continue to move forward.<br /><br />I know what I have to do.<br /><br />My path will not always be easy, but it could not be any more clear.<br /><div></div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-80885944525030041052009-11-12T08:02:00.003-07:002009-11-12T08:18:01.499-07:00Coming Alive<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu7vN4Or3kJkoD-BexlHMcoxWqPGJ0n0p9n5nQssnAXX2FHDYOsCj-6AD9vYlhnL5CabyhSTwfipDaqzC4zmoQYFeyb-nZm-ebjx21CHK6PkskrJ9UO7RhQcwzJjnbNNUH3gsMSMygiHs/s1600-h/AlaskaSunrise.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5403236580442522610" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 198px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu7vN4Or3kJkoD-BexlHMcoxWqPGJ0n0p9n5nQssnAXX2FHDYOsCj-6AD9vYlhnL5CabyhSTwfipDaqzC4zmoQYFeyb-nZm-ebjx21CHK6PkskrJ9UO7RhQcwzJjnbNNUH3gsMSMygiHs/s320/AlaskaSunrise.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I'm getting back on track, day by day.</div><br /><div></div><div>It's slow going here at first, but well worth it. </div><br /><div></div><div>I just wanted to write this as an update to let folks know that my recent post wasn't my last gasp before my head fell back under water for another undetermined length of time.</div><br /><div></div><div>I'm working at changing my life for the better again.</div><br /><div></div><div>I did not know how apt my blog title would be when I started, but it has been. And that's fine.</div><br /><div></div><div>Life is a journey - ups and downs. </div><br /><div></div><div>I'll ultimately succeed. I know that.</div><br /><div></div><div>I'll write more soon.</div><br /><div></div><div>I hope everyone has a great day full of positive choices.</div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-53566328833218924392009-11-04T21:37:00.005-07:002009-11-04T22:01:45.741-07:00That's Life<div align="left">I suggest starting by pressing play on the music player immediately below.</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><br /><table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tbody><tr><td class="sk-topleft" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-toprow">Frank Sinatra - That's Life</td><td class="sk-topright" width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-topright.gif" /></td></tr><tr valign="center"><td class="sk-lightleft3" width="16"><td class="sk-lightback3"><embed class="SkreemRPlayer" style="WIDTH: 290px; HEIGHT: 24px" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" align="middle" src="http://skreemr.com/audio/player.swf" width="290" height="24" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" allowscriptaccess="sameDomain" flashvars="playerID=1&bg=0xCDDFF3&leftbg=0x357DCE&lefticon=0xF2F2F2&rightbg=0xF06A51&rightbghover=0xAF2910&righticon=0xF2F2F2&righticonhover=0xFFFFFF&text=0x357DCE&slider=0x357DCE&track=0xFFFFFF&border=0xFFFFFF&loader=0xAF2910&soundFile=http://www.howmarvellous.com/music/Covers/FrankSinatra-ThatsLife.mp3"></embed> <img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; VERTICAL-ALIGN: bottom; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/skreemr_logo_small_name_only.png" /> </td><td class="sk-lightright3" width="16"></td><tr><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomleft.gif" /></td><td class="sk-bottomrow">Found at <a href="http://skreemr.com/link.jsp?id=625D4250555D6217&source=embed">skreemr.com</a></td><td width="16"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; BORDER-TOP: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM: 0px" src="http://skreemr.com/images/corner-bottomright.gif" /></td></tr></tbody></table></div><br /><br />That's life,<br /><br />that's what all the people say,<br /><br />you're riding high in April,<br /><br />shot down in May.<br /><br />But I know I'm gonna change that tune,<br /><br />when I'm back on top,<br /><br />back on top in June.<br /><br />I said that's life,<br /><br />and as funny as it may seem,<br /><br />some people get their kicks,<br /><br />stompin' on a dream.<br /><br />But I don't let it, let it get me down,<br /><br />'Cause this fine ol' world, it keeps spinning around.<br /><br />I've been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king.<br /><br />I've been up and down and over and out, and I know one thing:<br /><br />Each time I find myself,<br /><br />flat on my face,<br /><br />I pick myself up,<br /><br />and get back in the race...Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-84652725349147905482009-10-12T20:55:00.003-06:002009-10-12T21:01:07.927-06:00Weigh-In: It's Business Time<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCjKLVEzDbbYxmCZ5Ul_3ZAQRCkoZdYxk69nSE7cDgk5HWrsHY2gG0B7G0nDBby7_AU6exHtWCQ9KDxG9beYCp2E8UhljVXhVg8cjDWMQnBZoqeYhmTgz6blh-XZ-A8qct2MPiP4jS4AQ/s1600-h/2439951113_86cbb14a69.jpg"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 314px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5391913125351604706" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCjKLVEzDbbYxmCZ5Ul_3ZAQRCkoZdYxk69nSE7cDgk5HWrsHY2gG0B7G0nDBby7_AU6exHtWCQ9KDxG9beYCp2E8UhljVXhVg8cjDWMQnBZoqeYhmTgz6blh-XZ-A8qct2MPiP4jS4AQ/s320/2439951113_86cbb14a69.jpg" /></a> I'm in SLC this week for a division meeting.<br /><br />I got up and drove there this morning at 5:30.<br /><br />I stopped at the almost empty (looking at least) senior citizen center, which, thankfully, was unlocked and unmanned (thankful for me; as I've said before, I worry about the lack of security for their citizens).<br /><br />I went in and reflected on 7 days of on-plan eating, two 1/2 mile walks, a 1 mile walk, a 1.5 mile walk, a 2.4 mile walk, lots of wall push-ups, and a game of basketball(!).<br /><br />The scale said: 523<br /><br />14 pounds lost this week.<br /><br />Onward and freaking upward.Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com41tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-86300773181571676232009-10-07T14:27:00.011-06:002009-10-07T15:38:38.850-06:00Over the TopI recieved an award recently from <a href="http://45andaspiring.blogspot.com/">45+ and Aspiring</a>.<br /><br />I've seen this award, the Over the Top award, around the blogosphere, but never really knew what it was about.<br /><br />I still don't.<br /><br />I assume it has something to do with the 1987 Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling drama "Over the Top".<br /><br />Which, by the way, is apparently a big inspiration and a huge favorite of a lot of people, including, surprisingly, a fairly large amount of the female weight-lose blogging community.<br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389957367426162402" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 206px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHO4Sngu0eO9LXOP90nEldLM18_UmqOZREAsSW4QCTl_HrL-FnCKEhWzHtkgs47dsi2HUS-X8fjEDo42B4ui9UF-nK5xdyUglwsCQVoABUE5PpoDjlThHAheYRMQiJDnKP4TsibAGCPA4/s320/over-the-top.jpg" border="0" />In any event, to 45+ and Aspiring: Thank you.<br /><br />So, I don't care about the rules of this at all, so this will vary from some of these a bit.<br /><br />Here we go:<br /><br /><em>1. Your hair?</em> Salt and pepper. Admittedly more salt than pepper these days. My grandmother on my dad's side had completely white hair by the age of 18. I got my first grey hair at 12...thanks grandma.<br /><br /><em>2. Your favorite food?</em> Sushi<br /><br /><em>3. Your favorite drink?</em> In a different life, Bloody Marys. Today, H2theizz0.<br /><br /><em>4. Your hobby?</em> Playing the piano.<br /><br /><em>5. Your fear?</em> Dig this: when I was a kid I had some regular nightmares: monsters, Freddy<br />Kruger, the Gremlins. However, what is the thing that I had more, and scarier, nightmares about than anything as a kid? A huge fat man. I have no idea where that came from, but holy crap, it is a bit of a trip to think about how that was my greatest fear, even as a little tiny kid. How does that happen? *feel free to take peyote and discuss that one amongst yourselves.*<br /><br /><em>6. Something that you are not?</em> Not awesome. (double negatives rule)<br /><br /><em>7. Muffins?</em> I worked nights at a convenience store years ago as a second job. The manager bought muffins in bulk from Costco and then wrapped them individually to re-sell. When I worked I would ask the customer if they liked Costco muffins, and then tell them how ours were even better. I sold a lot of muffins and entertained myself.<br /><br /><em>8. Where are you from originally?</em> Juneau, Alaska<br /><br /><em>9. Where do you want to be in 6 years?</em> Anywhere, as long as I'm with my 6 years of health, and achieved and maintained weight loss and recovery.<br /><br /><em>10. How are you doing SoC?</em> Wow, personal. Well, I'll tell you:<br /><br />I'm excellent.<br /><br />I'm blazing a trail.<br /><br />Building on every little healthy action; every little healthy choice.<br /><br />It's all coming together and adding up.<br /><br />I can feel it.Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-27166141717418066182009-10-05T13:36:00.006-06:002009-10-05T16:47:17.314-06:00Weigh-In: It was written in numbers<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEeZP_nVlXcVQvQzHUr5qwdVNgnUVJpeMlF1NQdcBI4-b3KPJgiJuLWCbr7tGtWpteFGoWgTb3XyCIQe_a7V_kD_9DTxAIEIfxq05QNX9FWGj2TG3VY0VCUkmWWE7UBbz5mVodEPjJgAY/s1600-h/10_3_clubs-1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389202241837622370" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 214px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEeZP_nVlXcVQvQzHUr5qwdVNgnUVJpeMlF1NQdcBI4-b3KPJgiJuLWCbr7tGtWpteFGoWgTb3XyCIQe_a7V_kD_9DTxAIEIfxq05QNX9FWGj2TG3VY0VCUkmWWE7UBbz5mVodEPjJgAY/s320/10_3_clubs-1.jpg" border="0" /></a> 60 = The number of wall push-ups I did on Thursday: my best this week. Also, I am now doing the push-ups on my complete tip-toes.<br /><br />3.2 = The number of miles I walked Saturday: my best this week.<br /><br />0 = The number of calories I went over my food plan every day last week.<br /><br />7 = The number of days I worked out this last week. All 7. Monday - Sunday.<br /><br />10,080 = The number of minutes that I was in control of my decisions last week.<br /><br /><br />13 = The number of pounds I lost last week.<br /><br /><br />130 = The number of pounds I've lost in 3 months.<br /><br /><br />Never = When I'm going to stop creating and living a healthy life.<br /><br /><br />? = What's stopping youStages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-91237835831338978152009-09-30T21:56:00.004-06:002009-09-30T22:06:52.734-06:00Harder, Better, Faster, StrongerWho's body is, every day, feeling so much better as a result of his good choices?<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIo47R47VRP0Nxgv6UlzE3mmX4HjrxGVswOVOM3bV1pSNd4V2l8MKYXWqClOYOBvMCePNPCJcIauMNCnatRaGXwR-C0k2yocCJ4TblZUyMuyUvN_yxyowI2SS5Mzn24GbDXDR-O6TJr2o/s1600-h/thumbs+at+self.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5387475471473846210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 139px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIo47R47VRP0Nxgv6UlzE3mmX4HjrxGVswOVOM3bV1pSNd4V2l8MKYXWqClOYOBvMCePNPCJcIauMNCnatRaGXwR-C0k2yocCJ4TblZUyMuyUvN_yxyowI2SS5Mzn24GbDXDR-O6TJr2o/s400/thumbs+at+self.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><p>Today, I finished a meeting and went for a quick walk downtown.<br /><br />One of the quickest walks I've done in a long time actually:<br /><br />I walked 1/2 a mile (including a hill) in just under 10 minutes.<br /><br />Not much for most, but for my 550 lb self, that's the first time I've walked that fast in probably 2 years I'd guess. So, I will take it.<br /><br />Big time.<br /><br />Also, tonight I did 60 wall push-ups.<br /><br />AND I feel great mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.<br /><br />I feel like I am being refined.<br /><br />And improved.<br /><br />And I am.<br /><br />Oh man, I can't even wait.<br /><br />I am in the process of something momentous here.<br /><br />This is only the beginning.<br /><br />So, remember: tomorrow is mine, like it is yours, to do for ourselves whatever we choose....to mold and sculpt our actions, decisions, and very beings into whatever we wish them to be.<br /><br />For me, I am going to keep tearing it up in all that I do.<br /><br />It's entirely up to you.</p>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-50308083077662762942009-09-28T13:45:00.009-06:002009-09-28T15:09:16.405-06:00To Be Truly HealthyWhen I lived in Salt Lake City a few years ago I went downtown one Saturday morning and auditioned for The Biggest Loser.<br /><br />I had a phenomenal time with the people there, both BL hopefuls like myself, as well as with the casting staff.<br /><br />Through a variety of call backs - on-site, phone, and video, I was just about to be, it appeared to me at least, cast on the show.<br /><br />However, by the time they called me, that last, climactic time, to tell me, it had been months and months.<br /><br />And I had gained over 100 pounds.<br /><br />I got their message and never called them back.<br /><br />Too fat for the show I thought, I'd lost my chance. They wouldn't want me anymore now that I was over 500 lbs.<br /><br />Well, I may have been right, but more importantly, it doesn't matter.<br /><br />I'm grateful I didn't go on the show. It's the same kind of gratitude I have around not getting Gastric Bypass despite the incessant urgings of family and friends over the years.<br /><br />I have a lot to work through, and weight is only the symptom. And I want to do it all in a healthy way. That is the only real way for me, now: healthy.<br /><br />I don't want to lose 200 pounds in 2 months spent w/o my job, day-to-day life, and normal responsibilities.<br /><br />And I don't want to have a surgeon alter my body in order to induce medically-approved starvation.<br /><br />When I didn't get on the show and when I kept turning down weight loss surgery, I had years of unpleasantness ahead of me.<br /><br />It was painful. I suffered more failures, gained more weight, caused more anguish to myself and those who care about me.<br /><br />But, I'm not in that place anymore.<br /><br />I'm moving in a new direction now, and have been for some time.<br /><br />And as to how I came about that new direction?<br /><br />Organically.<br /><br />Through trials and tribulations and learning and growing.<br /><br />So now, I don't want what the American Medical Association and the Biggest Loser want for me.<br /><br />Now I want to learn about moderation and working hard to accomplish a goal that matters, for me. I want to love myself and treat myself with enough kindness that losing weight is a secondary result. I want to heal emotionally/mentally/spiritually AND physically so that I will be able to sustain my success for a lifetime.<br /><br />And I will.<br /><br />Recently I have been seeing this banner ad for Jillian Michael's website.<br /><br />Well, last time I saw it, just for fun, I clicked it.<br /><br />I had no expectation to do more than walk through a couple of the registration steps to see what it was about.<br /><br />Well, on her homepage you get started with your "free" weight-loss plan. Again, no expectations on my part, so I put in the data: age, height, email, goal weight, and, of course, my current weight: 550 lbs, and I proceeded to CLICK THERE IT'S FREE!!!!.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386606833860798306" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 186px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixQ1kVAsnstKNmClg4dJYf6N9Fsr4IVRXNKFZFLSd3cELdz4ZXtPgJ5JWQyjKd3rgekkDZlkiV0UzJ-tuts3xUgDar-f7apIMF_nIzWgHcXIv-FADdJD6G5xNhlf56uKYN_jc7yKH5-rk/s400/Jillian+Michaels.jpg" border="0" />Read what it said.<br /><p>There in the screenshot above. The pinkish box on the right side. That box popped up when I clicked.<br /><br />It's an error message.<br /><br />It says: "Hey, please take care of the following: Please enter a valid weight."</p><p>Simply. Priceless.<br /><br />Well, 550 is my weight. It's as real and valid as can be.<br /><br />I obviously had some struggles during the last few weeks. And I hadn't weighed myself since 9/9. I knew however that I'd gained weight. I could feel it. How much I didn't know.<br /><br />Thankfully, after getting back on track early last week, I've been back on in a big way. So, I'm back at 550 lbs, 1 pound heavier than I was when I got back from my trip.<br /><br />I'm grateful I didn't do more damage, or maybe grateful that I was able to recover from the damage I did do so fast. Either way, I am grateful.<br /><br />And moreover, I am excited.<br /><br />Excited because my future is bright.<br /><br />It may not have a weight loss reality show gig to offer, or a magical medical <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">procedure</span> to help.<br /><br />No, it has so much more.<br /><br />This week, as only any of us can do - one day at a time, I will continue to move into that future with <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">exuberance</span> and joy.<br /><br />I am reclaiming my life through my actions.<br /><br />That is beautiful.</p><p>That is healthy.<br /><br />And I wouldn't have it any other way. </p>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-70803572023737024212009-09-26T16:17:00.005-06:002009-09-26T16:25:16.663-06:00Broken Phone, but Whole Self<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD3abGV-ReCnRzj3UNa0NckKy0KPY8VRMWCHSrZO3Kq8P_Wa8g5heqTso3wP4-5_ozGPc4OLwL2qcchzIUdWfgJIAKa80SI_7Uhyphenhyphen3sK83QrL6j__hoEbLUylVEm8tlBpLlIEY0qf0r018/s1600-h/choices2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385903858312062370" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD3abGV-ReCnRzj3UNa0NckKy0KPY8VRMWCHSrZO3Kq8P_Wa8g5heqTso3wP4-5_ozGPc4OLwL2qcchzIUdWfgJIAKa80SI_7Uhyphenhyphen3sK83QrL6j__hoEbLUylVEm8tlBpLlIEY0qf0r018/s400/choices2.jpg" border="0" /></a>So...my cell phone broke in half a few days ago.<br /><br />Broke. In. Half.<br /><br />How could that happen?<br /><br />Did I flip it open and smash it over my knee in anger?<br /><br />Did I leave it open on the floor and accidentally step on it?<br /><br />Did I snap it half with my fingers to impress a girl with my super human strength?<br /><br />No, I opened it like I have a thousand times, and it broke in half.<br /><br />And at&t, unfortunately, could not help. Could not get me a replacement phone.<br /><br />Now, I am not a person who has a blind hate of corporations and thinks that they are inherently evil.<br /><br />I think there is way too much greed in a lot of people who work in the corporate world and even among those who run them; I believe that greed hurts all of those people, and a whole lot of others too as a result.<br /><br />But, the basic idea of Capitalism: I love it. It's one of the many things that makes America, despite our flaws, a truly unique and amazing country.<br /><br />At&t has done a great job in the marketplace and have thrived, and I can earnestly say more power to them.<br /><br />Anyway, where I start to take issue with a corporation is in a situation like this. And, first, do note that if I had dropped my phone, been careless with it, etc, I would be happy to take responsibility. I've lost phones before, I've dropped them in rivers and pools, I have damaged them, and so, I never called at&t to complain.<br /><br />It wasn't their fault those times...it was mine.<br /><br />This time, it was their fault.<br /><br />And they could do nothing to help me.<br /><br />But, here's the thing:<br /><br />Oh well.<br /><br />I let it go.<br /><br />I chose to let it stop bothering me.<br /><br />What a powerful ability we have in THAT choice.<br /><br />Truly.<br /><br />A few of the things I've been working on over the last 3 months, along with my physical health, is my emotional/mental/spiritual health.<br /><br />And of those issues, a few sub groups come into play in this issue: Anger, Resentment, and Forgiveness.<br /><br />While it may not seem like much, the few hours spent on the phone with customer support that ended with injustice could have, probably WOULD have, made me extremely angry. It likely would've put me in a nasty funk for the rest of the day.<br /><br />As time went on I would stew about the injustice, and resent what happened. Resent the company, the actually good service people that I spoke to, and all cell phone companies!<br /><br />Resentment man, it eats at your soul.<br /><br />It really does.<br /><br />It gnaws away at you, and every foothold it gets in your psyche is one where happiness, serenity, and love cannot exist.<br /><br />Instead, I chose to let it go. I had tried to do what I could, but had run out of options.<br /><br />So, why let something that I can't change make me feel miserable?<br /><br />I'm not going to waste my valuable energy on resentment.<br /><br />I'm not going to waste my valuable time being angry.<br /><br />I chose to forgive the company, and move on.<br /><br />And here's the thing, I think that most people have moments like this frequently in life. Whether it's with a company or a friend, a boss or a spouse, whatever. No matter what it is specifically about, it boils down to:<br /><br />1) A situation or conflict that doesn't go our way, and;<br /><br />2) A choice we have to make: Do we let the outcome rule us?<br /><br />Do we choose to go into a funk because of what happened?<br /><br />Do we choose to steam and froth with anger all day because of it?<br /><br />Do we choose to treat other people in our lives less kind, and with less love and respect as a result?<br /><br />Do we choose to not work-out because of it? To slack off on our plan at dinner? To stuff our faces with comfort food?<br /><br />Well, we never have to, because it is always OUR choice.<br /><br />Always our choice.<br /><br />How incredibly powerful we are.Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-37312112004656739862009-09-24T12:48:00.005-06:002009-09-24T12:58:53.352-06:00The Peanut Butter Solution<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2yO2-p_Wlc3RIKLtclSYibX5mheTaQhEOoiAkWSifPApOWE2PKcY1IMe3Y5DhgEG4Uwdb0D6WrsnUhxq9w-mtwzn6lJq7rDFU3tqLcxgfvM30I7YGip09ZpTXmhJ5IBw8vANdAWblUh4/s1600-h/victory.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385108427666402994" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 216px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2yO2-p_Wlc3RIKLtclSYibX5mheTaQhEOoiAkWSifPApOWE2PKcY1IMe3Y5DhgEG4Uwdb0D6WrsnUhxq9w-mtwzn6lJq7rDFU3tqLcxgfvM30I7YGip09ZpTXmhJ5IBw8vANdAWblUh4/s320/victory.jpg" border="0" /></a>I had a jar of peanut butter, and a jar of jelly sitting on my desk.<br /><br />I guess I should stop briefly and mention that I work from home.<br /><br />Anyway, I had these two jars of delectable comfort-food treats sitting next to my computer.<br /><br />They looked harmless.<br /><br />The jelly jar even featured a charming elderly couple posed similarly to the couple in the American Gothic painting. Only instead of the stern, fairly grim look of the AG couple, these two on the "American Northwest's Strawberry 'Real Fruit' Spread" label looked cheery and inviting. They looked like once I ate some jelly they might have just got me a glass of warm milk and made up a bed for me in the den so I could rest; perhaps leave a couple of Worther's Originals on my bedside table for the morning.<br /><br />The reason these jars were on my desk may or may not have something to do with the fact that in the not so at all distant past ( a few days ago) I brought them in there...to eat...out of the jars.<br /><br />Well, because I was born on Abe Lincoln's birthday, I too cannot tell a lie (other traits Lincoln and I share include chopping down a cherry tree with an axe and my trusty blue ox Babe, and the power to grin down bears by the age of 3.)<br /><br />So, I must truthfully tell you that I ate some of these jars contents.<br /><br />"Some" being a relative term.<br /><br />To put it more accurately, I ate about 14 ounces of peanut butter and 18 ounces of strawberry jelly.<br /><br />In one sitting.<br /><br />But, THAT is not why I come here today.<br /><br />No, today I write to say that last night I was pretty hungry.<br /><br />I started thinking: "Self, you know what might satiate that longing hunger inside you?"<br /><br />To which I replied: "The Peanut Butter and Jelly!"<br /><br />"No, not the pb&j. Remember, you need to put those kind of ridiculous desires aside. After all, you just TODAY started your end of year weight loss and health re-start: 'The Hotness Begins: 100 days of Autumn (& Winter) ~ Motivationathon 2009, Version 2.0 - I'm Here for the Gangbang!"<br /><br />Bitterly I protested: "Yea, but so what, tomorrow is when it really starts, on day 99. The hundredth day is just kind of a starting place for show. Kind of honorary, but not a real rubber-to-the-road, kind of starting day."<br /><br />"No." I firmly stated. "Don't do it."<br /><br />"But why?" I continued "Why should I trust you? Look at your ridiculous moustache!"<br /><br />Well, I felt kind of betrayed and insulted, but I knew that I was wrong...er...right. You know, both.<br /><br />Anyway, long story short (ish), I decided to not eat the remainders of the pb&j, or any at all for that matter. In fact, I threw them away entirely. Just a small thing, but more moments like that will ultimately reap huge rewards.<br /><br />I believe they call that a NSV, which I think stands for Non-Sexual Vacuum. I don't really know.<br /><br />In any event, I said no to the urge to binge and hell yes to keeping on the path to where I want to be.<br /><br />Victory!Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8684609362184929716.post-23837944313269830452009-09-23T17:25:00.010-06:002009-09-23T17:56:48.560-06:00take me in and dry the rain...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL_-5bLGci_T7K-c4LW4ed_viQHpx7h8udibyTKEjSOZ2h0OUkKTNhbvbFQV5doJXzVcIfbwtksky_kyQN_HyHjVEmdDsEowGf4C8mj84MH91Z9-KUTX6Al_Zfhk8Q19a-JOY2irmFd80/s1600-h/Picture+1022.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5384808385885768738" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 209px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 320px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL_-5bLGci_T7K-c4LW4ed_viQHpx7h8udibyTKEjSOZ2h0OUkKTNhbvbFQV5doJXzVcIfbwtksky_kyQN_HyHjVEmdDsEowGf4C8mj84MH91Z9-KUTX6Al_Zfhk8Q19a-JOY2irmFd80/s320/Picture+1022.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div></div><div></div><div>Here's the thing: when in Vegas a few weeks ago it sounded like a good idea to my friend and I that we both shave our beards into moustaches because we were soon going to Tombstone and a bewhiskered homage to the gunslingers of yesteryear sounded right.<br /><br />So, we did.<br /><br />And, as it turns out, that was an epic victory. I had never worn only a moustache before, but our strolling down the dirt roads of the old west with them was just about perfect.<br /><br />Now - fast forward to this last week: here's what I have learned: while moustaches can be funny and cool during an old west road trip, once you've got a week's stubble, a noticeably larger face, and you've been drinking, a moustache seems to really come into its own and show its true a**hole colors.<br /><br />I once thought my moustache rested on my face in a dignified posture with a hint of badass and a touch of ironic amusement. Now I see it smugly splayed out above my upper lip, making itself obscenely comfortable; openly mocking me because it knows I've succumbed to it's insidious power - succumbed to that same dirtbaggedness that almost all moustache wearers fall to at some point.<br /><br />Bad times.<br /><br />So, in summary:<br /><br />Moustache on road trip = good<br /><br />Moustache during downward spiral = evil<br /><br />Now, moving on:<br /><br /><div><a href="http://logmyloss.com/">South Beach Steve </a>(I like that name. I know it's related to the diet, but I like the "place + name" naming convention. I want to be known as Erie Canal Chad, or Hudson Bay Chad, or maybe Mississippi Chad. Hmmm, yea, I don't know. None of those are what I want. The problem probably starts with Chad not being my name. Meh.)<br /><br />Anyway, today <a href="http://logmyloss.com/">South Beach Steve </a>is starting his " The Hot 100 – Going Out With a Bang!" contest. And while I'm opting not to participate, I do like both Steve's blog AND delicious pickled vegetables (I'm referring of course to the contest's prize: a jar of the ridiculously good sounding, homemade "smoked, sweet & sour, pickled jalapenos.")<br /><br />However, I am very grateful that Steve pointed out that, including today, there are 100 days left in 2009; a great goal-ready timeline if ever there was one.<br /><br />As such, I am going to start my own end-of-year weight loss and health effort. I humbly call it: "The Hotness Begins: 100 days of Autumn (& Winter) ~ Motivationathon 2009, Version 2.0 - I'm Here for the Gangbang!"<br /><br />The key for me to have a successful THB100DOA&WM2009V2.0IHFTGB is going to be the starting point. Nothing can be achieved without first having been begun (as I believe Yates once wrote), and given that I am just coming out of a streak-breaking funk, this initial push is most important indeed.<br /><br />So, here is my plan:<br />1) Eat healthy - roughly 1500-2000 calories a day w/almost all whole foods.<br />2) Exercise - walk, or get some form of cardio, at least 4 times a week. Lift weights at least 3 times a week.<br />3) Do the mental, emotional, and spiritual things that were working so well and leading me into recovery.<br /><br />I have a couple of different numbers in my head of my ideal weight loss success for this effort, but I'm not going to stress them. I know...KNOW, that if I do what I need to do over the next 100 days, that I will be very happy with where I'm at.<br /><br />Alrighty, and there we are.</div></div>Stages of Changehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03628256956240223165noreply@blogger.com10