I had a pretty significant relapse around food for a few weeks in October. I even relapsed with drinking at a point.
It alllllll sucked so much.
I take full responsibility for eating all the crap I ate. I take full responsibility for ending up drinking.
I gained back almost 40 lbs.
I have said it before, but let me say it again: I did not get to 667 lbs earlier this year by always being selfless, self-assured, open, honest, even-keeled, moderate, etc.
I got there by being, in general, a guy with a lot of unresolved issues.
Well, I have been working on dealing with issues for the past 6 months.
I have been working on creating change from the inside out.
And, I've fallen down a few times along the way.
I've made mistakes.
I've had failures.
I've made some very poor choices.
BUT, I am trying.
AND, I am succeeding.
I will right the wrongs long term.
I will continue to lose all this weight. Not because I'm dieting, but because I'm working on living in the moment, choosing as best I can with what I can control, letting go of what I can't; I'm loving myself and being good to my body, mind, and soul.
I will slowly continue to build up trust with myself. I will slowly continue to build trust with others. I will repair relationships and make reparations as best I can.
I will ultimately succeed because of this bottom line: I am working hard, through simple, fundamental actions, to become a better person in every single way.
After two weeks back in the saddle, I weighed this morning: 534.
I lost 28 pounds.
So, despite my missteps and failures, I continue to move forward.
I know what I have to do.
My path will not always be easy, but it could not be any more clear.