I had a pretty significant relapse around food for a few weeks in October. I even relapsed with drinking at a point.It sucked.
It alllllll sucked so much.
I take full responsibility for eating all the crap I ate. I take full responsibility for ending up drinking.
I gained back almost 40 lbs.
I have said it before, but let me say it again: I did not get to 667 lbs earlier this year by always being selfless, self-assured, open, honest, even-keeled, moderate, etc.
I got there by being, in general, a guy with a lot of unresolved issues.
Well, I have been working on dealing with issues for the past 6 months.
I have been working on creating change from the inside out.
And, I've fallen down a few times along the way.
I've made mistakes.
I've had failures.
I've made some very poor choices.
BUT, I am trying.
AND, I am succeeding.
I will right the wrongs long term.
I will continue to lose all this weight. Not because I'm dieting, but because I'm working on living in the moment, choosing as best I can with what I can control, letting go of what I can't; I'm loving myself and being good to my body, mind, and soul.
I will slowly continue to build up trust with myself. I will slowly continue to build trust with others. I will repair relationships and make reparations as best I can.
I will ultimately succeed because of this bottom line: I am working hard, through simple, fundamental actions, to become a better person in every single way.
After two weeks back in the saddle, I weighed this morning: 534.
I lost 28 pounds.
So, despite my missteps and failures, I continue to move forward.
I know what I have to do.
My path will not always be easy, but it could not be any more clear.
glad you have your focus back, your doing great, we all stumble now and then, that makes us human!
ReplyDeleteLike they say... Success is getting up one more time then you fall.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you are back on track.
Glad to see you're doing ok.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! We're glad you back! Relapse is a normal part of the cycle of the stages of change (funny blog title, by the way! I wrote a blog about the stages of change just a few days ago.) You're back in action, buddy!
ReplyDeleteIts really hard to tell the truth when we have messed up really bad, but I think when we do we get stronger. When we are already being completely honest with ourselves and the people around us the upsets can be easily overcome.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you're back.
I'm glad to see you are around and back on track. I think a lot of us have issues that we need to deal with first before losing the weight. Take care of those things. It's important.
ReplyDeleteI'm just glad you are moving forward. You can do it. :)
Being honest with ourselves is necessary in order to continue our journey forward. You have been successful in this. Good for you to hop right back on the saddle.
ReplyDeleteWe are here as always cheering you on!
I had a friend in college that reminds me of you.
ReplyDeleteHe would study for every exam, and fail at every single one. After some time though, he graduated with great grades.
It took people a long time to realize, but it dawned on them:
He works harder than anyone I've ever met. He studies countless hours every day, he busts his ass, he looks for help, he does what he can to solve problems.
Sometimes, people are just dealt a tough hand. All you can do is deal with to the best of your ability.
All you can do is give it your best, and hope for the rest.
Good for you for recognizing how much work you are putting into yourself. It's not easy to change, and you are trying to change a LOT of stuff. Keep up the good work!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're doing better and congratulations on getting those pounds off. You are doing the best thing for yourself by being open about what you're going through.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure most of us here have gone through very similar things in our journey to health. I know I have.
I read a book earlier this year called the "Gabriel Method" and in it, the author spoke out the need for emotional healing before the weight would come off. This was very helpful to me. You are doing the right thing in working on healing the inside while working on the outside.
I hope you have a great week!
Hi, visiting for the first time.
ReplyDeleteKnowing what caused destructive behavior and working to avoid the same pitfalls in the key. You seem to have that covered. I look forward to watching your successes.
Best of luck.
Well said. It's when we give up trying to lose the weight and get healthy that we give up on life.
ReplyDeleteYou may stumble again but as you said, you know what to do. That's the key, knowing and trying.
I agree with what Fried Jeff said... about the need for emotional healing. You are right to work on your issues... for the change to be permanent, the change must come from the inside.
ReplyDeleteI believe you when you say you know what must be done. It make take a little longer to do it this way, but it will be permanent.
We are rooting for you!
Loretta
I'm so glad to see you posting again! I am so far from perfect it's not funny but my mantra is "never give up"
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy to do what you're doing. I think stumbling is normal. You will find your way. I believe that. When you fix your issues, you will find dealing with the rest easier.
ReplyDeleteresolving your issues is I think...the most important thing. You want to lose weight, if you know what trips your trigger, you can avoid that and move on through when the pit hits. Good job getting back on the horse.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you can do is keep trying. We're all here to support you and pick you up when you fall. You've done a great job getting back on track. Keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteThat's it man, you just got to keep on moving forward. Those missteps, they may set you back, but they don't hold you back.
ReplyDeleteStay strong.
I am so glad you are back! You have been missed. It is never a straight path, it is never easy, but getting up again and again when you fall is what will get you there in the end.
ReplyDeleteIf I had blogged for the last few years, it would be a totally different blog to the one I have today.
You can do it, I know you can.
Hugs,
Kari x
I've been gone dude, but I am glad you are back. Way to get back up again...it's all we can do when we fall off.
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain. I am one who recently went on a weight loss journey and I know how hard it is to lose weight and how hard it is for your body to live up to your expectations. You are a person full of courage and hope dont let the small mistakes get to you - everyone makes mistakes. :D
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to read this. You know what's possible---and you know how to get it. You're doing so well--Hold tight to your motivating thoughts my friend. Never let go---this is just too important. I know you already know this, if you didn't you wouldn't be back so strong.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you tonight,
My best always
Sean
You're going to make it.
ReplyDeleteYou are a person full of courage and hope dont let the small mistakes get to you - everyone makes mistakes.
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