Monday, December 7, 2009

What I've Done

Linkin Park - What Ive Done
Found at

I'm sick with step throat, and that sucks.

What does not suck is that I've decided to write a post about how my day was, as a means to help me be mindful, honest, and focused on what I really want (thanks to Losing Waist for the idea in a recent email)

Here, today, is what I have done...

I ate the following:

Two glasses of fat-free milk
One whole cucumber

Ten ounces of mozzarella cheese (rough estimate)
Four flour tortillas
Three tablespoons of chipotle mayo
Two cups of white rice
One cup of shredded pork
One ounce of cheddar cheese

Five tablespoons of cream cheese
Two cups of brown rice
Two Sun dried-Tomato Boca Burgers
Two cups of brown rice
Two flour tortillas
One wheat English muffin
One ounce of cheddar cheese

...and a partridge in a pear tree.

Well, that is a pretty heinous day.

Exercise for today?


How do I feel?

Regretful, frustrated with myself, but I already feel much more positive, because just writing this blog is a step in right direction; a good choice I've made.

Okay, next, I think I'll go through the exercise of being very clear about what I really want, and what I really don't.

What I DO NOT want:

I don't want to binge
I don't want to eat too-big or too-unhealthy meals.
I don't want to remain sedentary all day.
I don't want to only take in (films, TV, books, newspapers, etc) fluff in my spare time.
I don't want to only take in things with negative messages that are in contrast to my values in my spare time.
I don't want to choose the easy way out, even in little ways (e.g. throw a piece of paper at the trash, miss, and not pick it up.)

I don't want the outcomes of the above things. I don't want to be unhappy, unmotivated, remain morbidly obese and die.

What I really DO want:

I want to eat healthy, average-sized meals.
I want to get exercise every day.
I want to take in positive, affirming, motivating, challenging things in my spare time.
I want to do what is right in all that I do.
I want to be honest.

I want to do all the things above because doing them makes me happy, motivated, energetic, strong, empowered, and healthy: mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Now, I let what I've done today go. I don't hold onto the guilt, anger, disappointment, etc.

I've shifted my focus forward.

My focus is now on those things that I truly want moving forward in the next moment of today and leading into tomorrow, and what choices I will make in order to get them.


  1. I hope you feel better soon!

    I'm glad you're letting go of the negative stuff. I remember something you said once about "intrinsic value" and it has never left me. Since I didn't really believe I had intrinsic value, it helped me change how I viewed myself despite my failures. Many of my addictive behaviors came from my own unwillingness to accept and love myself as I am.

    As I've always told you, you are a fantastic person. You are one of the finest people I've ever met (and one of the sharpest tools in the drawer). I still believe you have great things ahead of you and I'm fortunate to be your friend.

    It's funny, I've been thinking of going back to school to become a psychologist and was telling MB today that I think you (SoC) would be an amazing psychologist too. It's a nice coincidence that we both were posting today.

    Take care (and feel better)!

  2. You're in the same time zone as I am, and I haven't exercised yet today (but I'm gonna). Maybe it would help you feel better to do a little somethin' as far as exercise?

  3. "I've shifted my focus forward.

    My focus is now on those things that I truly want moving forward in the next moment of today and leading into tomorrow, and what choices I will make in order to get them."

    What you said here is what it's all about. Although, I don't believe in focusing on what we DON'T want, I totally agree with how you switched, and made moving forward your primary motivation.

    I love reading your blog, as it feels like you're teaching... while attempting to learn at the same time.


  4. Get better. One step, one better choice at a time. It adds up. :)

  5. I find that it's all interconnected... diet, exercise, sleep, a positive mindset. When one of the plates stops spinning, it generally has a devastating effect on all the others, and that's when bad things happen.

    You can do this. I swear that you can. Focus is a big part of it, but so is planning and just plain ol grit and determination. You're in this for the long haul, so step up to the plate and get going. You know, as much as any of us do, what it takes to be successful on this weight-loss journey.

    As FDR said "Do, or do not. There is no 'try.'" (Wait, that may have been Yoda... oh well, you know what I mean).

  6. One thing I've found in this journey is if I isolate I fail. I need others, I need support and to support and I need to be heard. So I think posting often is a great idea. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

  7. You've already shifted your focus in the right direction. The rest is going to follow that. You can do this and we all want to support you. Let us. If you need anything, ask.

  8. You've come so can do this! We all spend so much time beating ourselves up...shifting your focus forward is what we ALL need to do.

  9. It was so nice reading your comment on my blog.

    You are totally right-on about not having anything about the photos I post. I will, from here on, post random photos (that have some relation), but I won't explain what it is. I sure wish we could sit around and crack jokes. You always made me laugh so much.

    I too am so thankful for our friendship. Like I said before, I consider you a brother. It is rare to meet people like you and I'm so grateful that we are friends. I am in awe of you too, you know how much respect I have for you.

    I hope the book is helpful. I really appreciate how the author went over about how our emotional state has a powerful effect on our weight. It also helped me to accept and love myself as I was.

    I hope you are feeling better today and I hope you truly know what an amazing person you are.

    P.S. bbubblyb is right on about isolating. I am the same way. Isolating is the worst thing I can do for myself. I've learned that the hard way.

    Direct from a command performance for Odin in Valhalla, the Umlaut IS back!

    Take care.

  10. I think posting often is a great idea. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

    Jump Manual