Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Groundhog Day

The groundhog Punxsutawney Phil, seer of seers, prognosticators of prognosticators, awoke yesterday morning to say to that he had indeed seen his shadow and thus winter would continue. However, Punxsutawney Phil had more than just the weather to address; he continued: "I did indeed see my shadow, but oddly enough, I did not see the shadow of a much, much, MUCH larger human. For some reason he didn't cast a shadow. So for him I see no more winter of discontent, but only the springtime of growth and health".

Thanks Double P. Thanks for having faith in me and thanks for inspiring one of the all time great Bill Murray movies.

As you may have guessed from my absence from my blog and from the community, I have struggled the last 10 days or so. But you know what? It was not at all the near chaos I've experienced in the past. I only binged once and still exercised 4 times. Still I was fairly mindless in my day-to-day and my actions, my eating, my workouts, and my overall emotional and physical health suffered for it.

But, that was last week. Now?

Onward and upward baby.

So, here, as I do every year (note: not true in the slightest), are my:

Post-Groundhog Day Resolutions

1. No cheese and no mayo or mayo based sauces (lite or otherwise) for the next year - Inspired by Fried Jeff's cutting hamburgers out of his life, and by Zeus Meatball's saying no to Ben and Jerry's for a full year, I have decided to cut a couple things out of my diet too.

I realized yesterday that cheese and mayo are at that heart of almost all the food I crave and binge on. Cheese on pizza, cheeseburgers, sandwiches, on fries, in burritos, quesadillas, nachos, etc. Mayo on burgers, sandwiches, dipping fries and pizza crust in mayo based sauces, putting chipotle mayo or creamy pepper jack sauce on Mexican food, etc. As it turns out, I'm not so excited about binging on 5 hamburgers plain with ketchup. Not so much.

So, as I no longer have an qualms about doing whatever it takes to prevail in this battle, I say, why the hell not?

I think there is joy and peace to be mined from such a decision. The joy to be found in every single time I say no, and the peace to be found in the burden of my desires for those foods being lifted from my shoulders. Just thinking about it makes me feel like a weight has been lifted. I simply won't eat those things again.

So for now, I'll say this: the next time I'll eat cheese or mayo (or mayo based sauces) will be February 2nd, 2010.

2. Okay, actually, that was the only one.

Now, moving forward, the overall plan continues. One day at a time. I'm going to continue kicking ass, continue working out, continue increasing my awareness, continue eating right, continue fighting this fight.

I'm never going to stop. Because the rewards that this process PROMISES me, and us all, are too fucking amazing to give up on.

Like many people who struggle with any of a myriad of issues, I find life much easier living it in the extremes. Sure its easy to binge and do nothing all day, but its also a lot easier to be super strict about food and almost starve myself and workout 2 hours. What's hard is accepting a moderate day of moderate success and consistent measured effort.

But I think I've found a way to, in a healthy way for once, be extreme while making steady progress:

Never stop. I'm just never going to stop being healthy. I will lose all this weight eventually, and I will keep it off forever. Because, people who keep the weight off and people who never gain it share one thing in common: they eat pretty healthy and they exercise often, and they do those things forever.

I love being able to throw myself as hard as I want into that mindset. It makes the day-to-day journey easier. And it's great because I'm in a so much healthier place mentally than I was, I'm able to recognize the failures that do and will happen in this journey, and yet feel great about it all.

It's all good.

It's all part of the process.

And as long as I keep going I will continue to get healthy, and grow, and change, and mature, and learn, and experience, and just LIVE. Live life to the fullest. Live a rich, evolving life.

After all, I am no longer living life the same way again and again. Being stuck in the same terrible, frustrating existence day after day. Reliving the same failures over and over.

Groundhog Day for me is over.

47 comments:

  1. Hey brother,

    It sounds like we both didn't have the best of weeks last week, but as long as we don't do too much damage and still get back in the game, we're cool. :)

    I think you have a great attitude and I think your resolution(s) will do a lot of good. Cheese and mayo really do add the calories. I never imagined I'd be able to give up red meat, so I know you (the Adam Sandler to my lowly Jimmy Fallon) will do great.

    I've now learned that taking a break from the blog isn't the best thing for me. :)

    Have a great week!

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  2. I'm glad to see you back! I was a bit concerned about there not being any updates for awhile. I'm pulling for you!

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  3. Woohoo! Nice to see you back again. Good luck cutting out all the mayo and cheese. I could probably live without mayo, but cheese is another story. I think a lot of people forget that eating healthy has to be something that you continue doing for the rest of your life. It's great that you have figured that out. Keep up with the positivity :).

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  4. You're so right moderation can be the hardest thing!!

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  5. Way to get back on the horse!

    Jared from 12MillionSteps.com

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  6. Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today. I really love that movie.

    That is the best analogy I've ever read for obesity - living the same mistakes over and over. Committing the same slow suicide, day after day.

    And you're right, liseftyle change can mark the end of a very LONG day.

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  7. I love reading your posts, and this Groundhog Day was a great analogy.

    I definitely WAS wondering about you and hoped you were okay. Glad to see you're back!

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  8. Loved the connection to PP and you not seeing your shadow!

    Good for you that you made it through a bad time without falling back into old habits! That denotes real change.

    Just keep on keeping on...that is the trick. You can do it!

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  9. In my experience in the past, whenever I've said I'm restricting my food intake, that just makes me want it more :D But everyone's different, so I hope this works for you!

    And you've got the perfect attitude. This is for life. Enjoy it, mate :)

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  10. Great resolution, Tony. I couldn't make that resolution at all. I tried to go to fat/free cheese and mayo and it was sooooo horrible I went back to the regular stuff...but...I limit my cheese to one ounce twice a week and the same with one tablespoon of mayo only once a week. And I have to admit that there are times when I think to myslef, "Geesh, I've already had my cheese this week and I can't have more." Then the craving starts. I'm proud of you that you are going to go cold turkey.

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  11. I think cold-turkey is the best when it comes to trigger foods! Great post!

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  12. This was a great post. I'm guessing all of us have lived in groundhog day some of our lives. I'm one that thinks all our mistakes and repeats have made us who we are and I mean that in good ways not just bad. Just like Bill Murray decided to make the best of his repeating days I'd like to think we've all learned plenty of things that can help us become the people we want to be.

    It's good to see you back I definitely have missed your thought provoking posts and your determination.

    As for trigger foods, we all have them and I do think cold turkey is the best way to go. I haven't had haagen daz in 18 months, I just realized that reading your post lol.

    Here's to a great week!!!

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  13. Moderation, which I'm learning, is SO hard! I'm glad I found your blog. We need all the help and support we can get. Sometimes, it can be a pretty lonely path to get where we want to be, eh?
    I have found a couple of things that have helped the cravings and to cut out more fat and meat. One is Morning Star corn dogs. All veggie, but you can't tell at ALL!
    My biggest trigger food is ice cream. I should own stock in Ben & Jerry's (thanks to Karmel Sutra....*sigh*). I've had to eliminate it completely. I can't be trusted around ice cream.
    Good grief...what a confession!
    :)

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  14. I think we have to be careful about quitting things cold turkey. I for one end up binging if I'm told I can't have something. Moderation is hard, but it's something we have to teach ourselves to do.

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  15. Loved that movie, love this post! So glad to see you back. I agree with some of the others that cold turkey seems to help with resisting trigger foods.

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  16. I was wondering about you too. You do what's best for you! You can do this and if cutting out the trigger foods helps you succeed than go for it.

    I keep reminding myself this is a lifetime decision and not to hope for an overnight success. One Day At A Time. That's the way to roll!

    Keep it up!

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  17. welcome back...you were missed. sounds like you figured some stuff out along the way...good for you.

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  18. You are a gifted writer! I have recently started reading your blog (I found your blog when you left a comment on mine) and I am very impressed with both your writing ability and what you have to say. Keep up the good work...I wish you peace and happiness!

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  19. I still think you are moving in the right direction! watching, monitoring your foods...its all going to come together over the months and months and you are going to get the changes.

    I love reading your posts. So thoughtful and well spoken. Thank you for posting.

    :)

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  20. Ditto you are a great writer. Your insight is always so good. You are learning about what works and what doesn't for yourself. That is good. In all these trials and errors good usually comes out of it. Then we find what works for us. We are all different and that's okay. We all have to find out what works for us. You have to listen to your truth about everything in your life.

    So glad you are backed, you are always missed.

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  21. HI! I missed you! Anyway. I am glad to see that you are just continuing... no more of the "starting over" because it is all the same journey... Yay!

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  22. It is all about the process. You say it so well, and I enjoy reading your blog. I especially like:

    Live a rich, evolving life. Amen!

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  23. Hi first time visitor here and I just wanted to say that I think that taking it a little bit at a time is the road to permanent weight loss.

    I started my new life by eating a healthy breakfast every day, from there I started eating brown rice instead of white and whole grain bread instead of white bread. I made small changes that all add up to being healthy and slow but steady weight loss.

    I'm looking forward to following your progress!

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  24. Hey. I have a cheese problem too. So I get it.

    Hang in there. Post more, you're missed!

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  25. poke poke! hey you! whats happening?

    :)

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  26. Checking in to see how the week has been.

    Jared from 12MillionSteps.com

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  27. Hey TFC friend. Please refer back to your first post ever.

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  28. Hey miss you. I do not comment much on your posts you just seem to say it all pure and perfect. Hoping though you are quiet you are in a good place.

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  29. "Because, people who keep the weight off and people who never gain it share one thing in common: they eat pretty healthy and they exercise often, and they do those things forever."

    So true. Why does "forever" sometimes seem so scary even when it's doing something wonderful? Hmmm...just thinking! Hope you are well!

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  30. Where are ya? Miss your posts. Hope you're doing ok.

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  32. Hey! Hope everything is going well...I'm missing your always insightful and thoughtful posts! But mostly, I'm hoping you are in a good place and just too busy to post.

    Know that you are missed and we are thinking of you!

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  33. hello there....have been reading your blog. Loving it, need more.....dude, check in! your loved and missed.

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  34. Just checkin' in on ya? Haven't seen you around for awhile and wanted to make sure you're okay out there? Come back - we miss you! :-(

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  35. Hey there... I haven't been posting much lately either... I hope you're doing ok and would love to hear an update. Your words are honest and always make me think. Your thoughts are valauble and always make me look a little deeper. I'll be watching for you...

    Suzee

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  36. You're missed! Come back soon!

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  37. hey man, what's going on???? Hope you're doing okay and still going strong...

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  38. Ha! Everyone loves you and wants to support you! You can't get away from it! HA! Missing hearing about life from you... Hope everything is going okay!

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  39. Hope you're doing ok. I know I haven't had the best week but I'm here and it does help. I hope to see a post from you soon, miss you and your great posts.

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  40. I don't know where you've been, and forgive me if I'm assuming, but I know the thought processes because I'm like that too:

    Please don't throw it all away.

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  41. Miss reading your posts. Hope all is well. Please check in soon, either way.

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  42. Come back. We all care about you.

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  43. *Hugs* Stay Determined To Get Healthy! You'll reach your goal the right way and the weight will stay off forver! Your writing is inspiring, continue your journey. We'll all be watching.

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  44. Hey there! Two of your biggest friends and fans miss you. Please post :)

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