Days 9, 10, 11, 12 & 13

Turns out I'm still not great at blogging everyday.

I could be.

But so far I've chosen to not be.

Meh, I still going to plan on doing it everyday, and working towards that end, but it's not nearly as important to me as exercising every day.

Also, you may notice I changed the look of my blog for the first time. I did that because I realized that though I originally really liked the look of it, it no longer reflected who I'm becoming. The original black scheme was about hiding and denial.

I strive now to be about light and truth.

I also replaced my black and white "head in my hands" picture of myself I had as my profile shot. I did that also because it's no longer who I am anymore. That was about being hopeless, and some "why me?" victimization, and immaturely romanticized drama.

I strive now to be about success, self-accountability, and moderation.

---

Days 9, 10, 11, 12, & 13

Did I exercise?

Well, let me just say this:

Yes.

Saturday: 40 minutes of basketball, and drove a large bucket of golf balls at the range.
Sunday: 100 wall push ups and 10 sit-ups (pseudo sit-ups, I got up on each as far as I could)

Monday: 35 minutes of lawn mowing
Tuesday: 40 minutes of lawn mowing
Wednesday: ½ mile walk and 75 wall push ups

Next.

Day 7 & 8

I didn't post yesterday.

I didn't post because, well...

...

I forgot.

So I can definitely tell you why I didn't not post though.

It wasn't because I didn't exercise.

No sir.

I'm not stopping.

I'm not stopping.

I'm not stopping.

I will not quit.

I will not give in.

I will continue.

I will persevere.

I am tenacious.

I am strong.

I am working hard, and I will reap what I am sowing.

Day 7 AND 8:

Did I exercise?

Ohhhhhh yeeeessssss

One hour and 15 minutes of basketball Thursday, 40 minutes of basketball yesterday.

Pay the man, indeed :)

Day 6

You know what is right.

What is true.

You do.

I do too.

It may be harder to discern on occasion in the rush of the day, or in the swirling melange of one's multitude of life issues and elements.

But at our core, we still know.

Sometimes we purposely pretend that we don't.

We dismiss the quite voice reminding us inside.

We do what we "want" instead.

But then, sometimes, after we do what we "want", we feel bad, unhappy, guilty, ashamed.

And that?

That is good.

It is healthy to feel bad when we make a poor choice; a choice that is incongruent with what we know to be true.

Not to dwell or stew, but just to feel it. To recognize and acknowledge we chose improperly.

Let's not pretend and be blind; we are where we are today because of ourselves.

I am who I am today because of me.

Good or bad, it is our choices that count.

External things have happened and always will, but our lives are still a reflection of what we've done with every single moment of choice with which we've been presented.

You know what's right.

What is true.

You do.

I do too.

What will you do with that power today?

---

Day 6:

Did I exercise?

Yes, I played 20 minutes of basketball.

And so I was paid.

Day 5

I reread my very first blog post (December 14, 2008) today.

I really enjoyed it so I am re-posting it below in it's (relatively brief) entirety:



"Above are screenshots of three of the hundreds of weight loss related blogs I've viewed in the last 2 days. And those three have something significant in common with 95% of those blogs: they didn't last long. At all. The majority have been under 10 posts total, and then...nothing.

Years pass.

I feel for all those would-be bloggers because, like most people that have struggled with their weight, or the larger concept of trying to create long-lasting, positive change in their lives, I have been there. I've launched a thousand "brand new days". New plans, new strategy's, new beginnings, new classes, books, groups, living situations, diets, lifestyles, routines, etc, etc, etc.

It never gets any easier; failing at a new approach, which is hard because it's so much fun at the start. I once heard the nature of man described aptly as something to the effect of "Great at creation, poor at maintenance".

But, when it comes to human nature, another common theme is perseverance. So, in the interest of attempting to persevere, I am following in the footsteps of both those who failed and left their blog like a virtual ghost town, and those who triumphed. I am starting a blog to track what I plan to be a journey of weight loss and overall success in a life previously marked by failure.

Good luck to me, and to serve the double purpose of serving as a self-motivating final statement of this post, and a potential piece of advice to those who pass by here in the future if I too abandon my post: Never Give Up."

---

I didn't exercise much yesterday, but I did a little, and "a little" is 100% more exercise than I get when I'm not striving for success, so I am counting it.

I did 50 wall push-ups.

And for that, I received a healthy George Washington.

Never Give Up.

Day 4

Yesterday I got up at 5:30...

I took a one hour and fifteen minute lunch...

I feel asleep last night easily and slept soundly...

Today I am sore...

What does it all mean?

Well, let's just say...

Day 4:

Did I exercise?


Yesssssssssssssssssssss.

I got up at bright and early and joined 3 friends for an hour of basketball.

Then, during my lunch break, I played another hour of basketball.

Today I feel like I spent two hours yesterday engaged in full-on cardio while vigorously working muscles in my arms, back and shoulders that I haven't worked in a while.

(I did)

And so...

Dolla dolla bills y'all.

Day 3

I haven't regularly posted since last summer, and since I'm committed to doing this 125 days of exercise in conjunction with 125 posts, I guess there's a chance that people who used to read this will come back and some new people may start.

So, just to get on the same page then - allow me to reintroduce myself:

I started this blog December 14, 2008.

At the time I was 620 lbs.

I've obviously had ups and downs since then (quick history of my weight can be found at the bar on the right.)

I like blogging.

It's been a great place to get my thoughts and feelings out; to energize and inspire me, and to keep me moving.

I enjoy reading other blogs. I have just restarted that in the last few days after months without reading any. I love seeing other people succeed.

I am a recovering alcoholic.

I went to rehab for alcohol and my weight in 2008.

I work doing sales and marketing for a a business who's focus actually is on assisting people in creating change in their lives.

I'm an excellent piano player.

I'm originally from Alaska.

I've hurt my family, friends, and loved-ones for years because of my issues (addictions, self-destruction, and the selfishness and many other failings that go hand-in-hand.)

I'm doing a good job slowly but surely starting to rebuild and repair those relationships.

I love Johnny Cash, the Velvet Underground, Ben Folds, Billy Joel, the Beatles, and the White Stripes.

I've come to believe in God in a powerful and personal way.

I was hit by a car in Rome once.

My hair started going grey at 12 years old.

I work very hard at my job and am damn good at it.

I once had a wild black bear in my bedroom.

---

I was asked recently in the comments how I lost 113 in 4 months (this Jan through April).

Well, let me answer that by saying: I also once lost 116 pounds in 11 weeks (Oct-end of December 2005), and earlier last year I lost 118 pounds in 9 weeks (again, see weight loss numbers at right for details).

I'm grateful for those numbers, and am hoping to produce more of the same moving forward.

That said, there was never any trick or shortcut during any of my greatest weight loss periods. For instance, during the 113 pounds lost earlier this year and during the 118 lost in 9 weeks last year, all I did was eat about 1500-1700 calories every day, consisting largely of lean meats, vegetables, a little cheese, milk and lots of beans. Another dietary thing is that I drank lots of water and lowered my sodium intake to no more than 2000 mg a day.

From an exercise standpoint I walked 3-5 times a week, did 50-150 wall push-ups a week, and eventually in both cases started playing basketball 3-5 times as well.

Also, in all of the above cited weight-loss periods, I started from a weight of no lower than 494 lbs, and as high as 667 lbs, so there's always been plenty of weight dying to come off.

---

I read Tony's blog over the weekend (The Anti-Jared) and he mentioned me:

"Stages of Change, you wrote a great post about how people can change. How I did not believe that was possible. I was wrong, people can change.They just have to want it."

And I just wanted to say thanks to Tony. I really dig that comment. He is right. It's not always easy for any of us to see, but it is the truth. We can change, we "just have to want it". Damn right. Tony's amazing and inspirational multi-pronged transformation proves it. I love it.

His comment reminded me of that old post I wrote, which I liked because it fired me up. If anyone is interested, you can read it here: "Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes"

---

Lastly, yesterday was Day 3:

Did I exercise?

Yes I did.

I walked a one mile loop on a local trail.

So, I received another $1 bill.

"The most important thing to remember is this: To be ready at any moment to give up what you are for what you might become." - W. E. B. Du Bois

Day 2

Yesterday was a very productive day.

I got a variety of things done that were beneficial yesterday and will prove helpful in the week ahead.

My last post before the start of this 125 days of exercise thing was about how losing weight and changing your life is not "hard"

I just wanted to say, in case there is any doubt...

That is still true.

This is not hard.

I just wanted to reaffirm that. And not in a cocky way. I don't care about me being right, I do, however, love that it is right.

And what is right...and what is true...is that everything is only ever about how we choose to see it.

That concept is one I've written about before, but meh, I'll never stop writing, thinking, and talking about it, because it's the truth, and it's glorious, seriously.

Not to say that life can't be a struggle: that tragedy doesn't strike, that fluke accidents don't happen, that additional work isn't unexpectedly given to us.

But so much of life is about our choices.

And the biggest one is how are we going to feel in the moment. I can choose to feel labored, over-worked, under-appreciated, stressed-out, victimized, helpless, hopeless. Or I can choose to feel positive and put my best foot forward.

Yesterday, I choose the latter.

And yesterday, was Day 2 of my 125 day challenge:

Did I exercise?

Yes I did.

I again played basketball, this time for an hour, from 6-7am.

As a result, I earned dollar number 2.

"We are not animals. We are not a product of what has happened to us in our past. We have the power of choice. " - Stephen Covey

Day 1

Since last fall, I've only posted a few times.

Here's an extremely brief recap of what's happened:

I went from 534 lbs in November

To 600 lbs in January, 2010.

Then I got all the way down to 487 lbs by April 24 (the lowest weight I'd been at since summer of 2007)

Now I sit around the mid 500's I'm guessing (I plan to go weigh soon to see the real number)

Ups and downs.

Throughout the last 9 months however, regardless of the ups and downs, I have thankfully continued to grow as a person, I have solidified a new spiritual direction, and I have learned futher valuable lessons and gained new insights.

Now on to my plan to use the money Anne H sent me that Jack Sh*t awarded me as motivation towards a goal. Below is my original submission for Jack's giveaway, outlining my idea:

"My 10 year high school reunion is later this spring, in a little over 100 days.

I would break the hundred dollar bill into one hundred individual dollar bills.

I would give them all to my sister's family, with one caveat: I would start a goal to workout every day for one hundred days, not killing myself, just doing it...every day. And at the end of every workout, I would go see my sister and she would pay me one dollar. I would post pictures and updates.

After 100 days, (and hopefully, having lost enough weight to go back to Washington and see friends and family at less than 100 pounds higher than I was at 18 years old), all the dollars I had earned would be passed on to another weight loss blogger to do something cool and worthwhile with via this exact type of giveaway...(and) if I workout all one hundred days, and thus earn back all $100, then I will add one hundred of my own, and pass on $200 to some other WL blogger."

Well, it turns out I've come up short on that goal already, because my reunion is about 80 days away instead of 100.

So, the new concept is to excercise every day for those 80 days hoping to arrive at my reunion not much bigger than I was in high school (yes, I was 400 lbs senior year), and then excercise every day for another 45.

After the 125 days are up, I will indeed be giving away the money to another WL blogger.

Now, yesterday was the start of the plan...

Day 1:

Did I exercise?





Yes.

I did.

I played 40 minutes of basketball, all of which were cardio, and 15 of which was very strenuous.

As a result, I had a family member pay me $1 of the $125:

Day 2 awaits.

I'm Sorry Jack Sh*t

This is not hard.

Lately I've found myself saying to a number of people that this is hard.

"This" being defined as changing my life in a number of ways, including losing weight.

But...here's what I know to be true:

It's not hard.

It's never hard to do the right thing...not truly.

It may be hard to accept mentally that we will do it, but the actually doing is not really hard per se.

Yes, it may suck to go work out (especially at first, or after a while of not doing it), or yes, it takes time to change our habits, and yes, it's not fun to ask for help and to take it, etc.

But it is not hard.

I don't want to argue semantics, so it's possible that people will disagree, but I don't think at the core many of us would ever really disagree with the fact that doing the right thing is actually less "hard", because of a myriad of reasons, all having to do with us feeling better, ultimately, for having done the right thing.

Again...yes, if we've struggled with weight or whatever for a long period of time our issues may absolutely seem "hard" to address effectively.

Yes, actually addressing them: exercising, eating something healthy vs. unhealthy, asking for help, going to a counselor, acknowledging our mistakes, saying we're sorry and trying to correct our issues with people, facing our reality, etc. ...can seem "hard".

But it's not really.

It's all about state of mind.

I love that I used to be cynical about people who earnestly believed "anything was possible", etc.

I LOVE that believing that, and actively thinking that and the many thoughts I've had over the years very similar to that, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,

EVER helped me.

Never.

Because it just goes to show...it's about what you believe, and more importantly, it's about the actions you take to create, or to change, what you believe that matters.

Actions lead sometimes.

Actions lead sometimes and then our beliefs follow.

And then it's all synergy baby.

Momentum.

And it's up to us whether those actions, beliefs, and momentum are positive or negative.

It's up to me.

Should I, in the long-term, succeed or fail, I will always know, and be absolutely correct, that the fact is... it's only ever been up to me.

I choose to acknowledge the truth that this is a process.

A process that can take a massive amount of effort and time and tenacity and commitment.

But a "hard" process?

meh...

Only if I let it be.

The Pine Box Derby

It was us.

Racing like the wind towards the checkered flag...

We were transcending the moment, the flashbulbs lighting up all over as we rounded the final curve...

The intensity was mounting, the pressure was building, we were getting so close...

All of our loved-ones were yelling and hollering at us from the sidelines...

The sweat, and the time, and the money, and the choices, and the sacrifices, and the agony had all led up to this...

But then...

amazingly...

miraculously...

we stopped.

We stopped racing to the grave.

We stopped short: some a bit back from that ultimate ending line, and some only just barely...but we all stopped.

We stopped and we started instead to let go of all that time, and money, and choices, and sacrifices, and agony that we had invested in...and wasted on...creating miserable, unhealthy lives.

We stopped, and for the first time by God we really, truly listened to what our loved-ones were yelling from the sidelines.

We stopped and we listened, and we heard their frantic, yelling, hoarse-voiced begging. With tears rolling down their faces, they pleaded...

"Please. Please come back to me."

"Please don't die and leave your family here alone..."

"Please don't leave us without a mother..."

"Please don't leave us without a father..."

"Please see how amazing you are and the opportunities you have in this life...they are endless!"

"Please don't do this to yourself. Do you not know that you are loved?!"

"You are my spouse, my best friend, why are you doing this to yourself?! Please turn around!"

"Don't you understand where you are headed?!?"

We stopped, and we got down on our knees right there on the track, and told ourselves that we would never go another step further.

We stopped that moment and committed to everything and everyone important to us that we would never finish that race.

We turned back instead and started on a new path.

A new journey.

And we are on that road now.

And as a result, we will have moments more incredible than our imaginations can even fathom. Those moments are yet for us to live.

There is a richness, and a power, and a beauty, and a joy that comes from making the right decisions, and making them as often as possible, and giving your all to every one of them.

And all of that is now ours for the taking.

We stopped short on that track before, and in doing so we left caskets sitting alone and unused by themselves at the finish line; caskets decaying and breaking apart with age...

They sit there still.

They were there waiting for us at the end of that race we used to be running. They were put there by us. Those ornate wooden crates were built by our own hands.

Yes, and those caskets would have housed our lives that we half-assed, our relationships we destroyed, our opportunities left unfulfilled, our gifts to the world left unharvested, our shattered faith and hope, our atrophied love for ourselves, and for some...our very bodies: bloated, and hollow, and dead.

But now the caskets lay in disrepair...wasting away.

Because we have the power to choose.

We can choose.

And choose wisely.

We can choose to embrace this gift of a life and create with it whatever we desire. The health, in every possible sense of the word, that we crave, can be ours.

So, let our next step be one down that new path.

Let us go forth with confidence and passion and love and truth and integrity and 100% effort.

Let us speed and fly towards a phenomenal, healthy life.

Are you ready?

On your mark...

Get set...

GO!!!