Monday, July 13, 2009
20 Things I've Lost and Hope to Never Find Ever Again
This week I lost weight. I've probably lost weight a week or two since I gave up my last real push towards health in February, but this week I'm sure I have and I know the number. I weighed last week and I weighed today.
I lost 20 pounds and that feels good. However, I have gained so much weight prior to this week, I still feel disheartened.
However, this I've learned: I don't need to spend any more time thinking about how heavy I am and how much that sucks, so, I won't.
I also don't feel like, or more importantly, don't see any benefit in, thinking how awesome the 20 pounds is, and how I'm like, totally back on track now.
I'm trying to think of what I should write. What would help me right now? I don't know, wow, this is very stream of consciousness.
Okay, I'm going to write a list of reasons why I want to keep losing weight to remind myself of reasons to keep the momentum going:
1) I want to - side note: these are likely to be worn goals or whatever, and everybody does this, but meh, I don't care - I want to go out in the world and not have my first impression automatically be: "Fat guy".
2) I'd love to buy clothes from anywhere other than a big and tall store. Actually, I'm so big now, the clothes there do not fit me, so even clothes from a B&T would be a start.
3) I want to go out and not see kids overtly laugh, point, and make loud statements to anyone in the vicinity in stores, etc.
4) I want to ride in one plane seat.
5) I want to not worry about breaking seating no matter where I go.
6) I want to be able to wear a suit and enjoy it.
7) I want to be a holistically healthy person who has largely conquered their issues, and I know if I lose this weight and keep it off, it will be because I have accomplished that.
I'll write more on this at some point when I have more time; I have always wanted this sort of a list around just as something to look at now and then as inspiration.
One last thing, a start to a list of things I'm grateful for:
1) This blog
2) This blogging community.
3) My family
4) My health
5) My friends
6) All the support I have from so many sources
7) The ability to change
9) Sufjan Steven's "Illinois" album
Good luck to all, one day at a time.