...And the Truth Shall Set You Free

Paradigm - noun, [par-uh-dahym, -dim]
1. A set of assumptions, concepts, values, and practices that constitutes a way of viewing reality.

Paradigm Shift, is a powerful shift in a way something is viewed. However, Paradigm Shift is more than a mid-to-late 90's business world buzz word. It's more then a carelessly coughed up Stephen Coveyism.

When I attempted the first major weight loss effort of my life, the effort was fraught with self-help jargon from Stephen Covey, Zig Zigler, Tony Robbins, etc. It was riddled with pop-psych, self-help concepts because I was making the effort with my father over the summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school, and he was in an extreme self-help phase. It was 1998. I was 16. I started the summer at 353 pounds. At the end of the summer, 8 weeks later, I was 303 pounds.

I really enjoyed all the self help stuff that summer, I ate it up with a big spoon (ironically foreshadowing the multitude of eventual run ins I would have with pints of Ben & Jerry's, and whole Costco cheesecakes)

I loved "I'll see YOU, at the TOP!", I loved "The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure, instead of having pain and pleasure use you", and I especially loved the concept of Shifting my Paradigm.

Suddenly you see everything differently, and as applied to my weight loss, suddenly you see the way to lose weight was in front of you the whole time. That is the power of a paradigm shift as a I thought of it then. In 1998 I didn't really feel like something had actually shifted, but I GOT the concept, I really GOT IT, and that felt wise and important and like a step towards growing in a healthy direction. All that helped enough for me to lose 50 pounds that summer.

*fast forward*

8 months ago I was in a therapy session when I had an epiphany. It was so incredible I wrote it in my journal. This is what it says: "I couldn't change because I thought I couldn't change!!!"

Astounding, I know.

And yet, it was astounding for me then and still is for that matter, and the reason is simple. It was the moment I had a Paradigm Shift, and the shift was about the fact that a Paradigm Shift is possible.

It was at that moment that I finally connected with the fact that I am not fatally flawed, but that my PERSPECTIVE was.

5 months prior to that "ah ha!" moment in therapy I was in the middle of an extremely heated argument with my brother. I told him "You don't get it, I'm not like you, there is something different about me which makes changing SO much harder. Which makes losing weight and getting my shit together almost IMPOSSIBLE for me! You could NEVER understand. I'm not the same!!!"

And 5 months later, I got that first powerful shove in a direction that contradicted those thoughts, fully and completely.

Ever since then I have tried to focus on that concept, that epiphany that I had, and just recently I've been thinking about it a lot. Objective Optimism is the Perspective I want to live life with. No misunderstanding, I want to see life as it is: all the flaws, blessings, hardships, curve balls, ugliness, beauty, joy, sorrow, silver linings - all of it. And I want that because I want to continue to live life in the moment and to be real, not looking at the world through warped layers of denial.

But I now choose to recognize that though many things are outside of my control, many things, especially regarding my weight/health, are within my control. And I now choose to to make that paradigm shift, to align my perspective with that reality. And in doing so, I see that I can truly do anything, I can overcome anything.

THAT is the reason wars are won by impoverished, depleted army's full of sick, world-weary troops, THAT is the reason an inventor can fail at attempt number one thousand and fucking sixty to create the light bulb and KEEP TRYING, THAT is the reason that a person about to battle Cancer for the 3rd time can STILL remain Positive and not give in to unhealthy impulses.

And THAT is the reason that people who understand that fact, that fact that everything is about your paradigm, your perspective; that despite all that Pollyannaish, Rose Colored Glasses bull shit, life actually IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.

THAT is the reason that when those people tell us they KNOW we can lose weight and get healthy - hey man, they are truly, honestly giving us as raw and real a piece of advice/support as this world can offer.

So for right now, let me tell myself again: I can do this. I can work-out, I can get up when I don't want to, I can eat right, I can turn off the TV, I can lose over 300 pounds, I can deal with life with the same humility and fortitude as those I admire.

Because it's all possible in my perspective, bottom line. THAT is the truth...