Wednesday, January 14, 2009

I Feel Good...and I Knew That I Would Now

I feel good

Soooo good.

Life is improving. The comprehensive quality of my life is improving.

I'm progressing and it feels great.

The biggest shocker so far? I found an exercise routine I can do that I don't even have to spend hours motivating myself to do - I don't dislike it THAT MUCH.

Here's what I do:

At the end of my work day, somewhere generally between 5 and 6. I turn on something to watch and just start working out (primarily two different movements that I switch between throughout the duration: laterally stepping back and forth with various arm movements in repetition, and jogging in place with shadow boxing).

I do it for 40-50 minutes, throw in 30-40 wall push-ups, and drenched in sweat with sore muscles I call it a day

But here's the amazing part...I have to stop myself.

Again, because it's an astonishing thing on par with Bigfoot, and the Virgin Mary appearing in tortilla's in the southwest, let me repeat: I have to stop myself...from working out more. I COULD keep going for at least another 1/2 hour. At least.

It's amazing. The only other exercise that I have ever felt even remotely as agreeable to is walking around outside. Currently however, I am not really game for walking for two reasons: 1) it's icy off and on now and I have no interest in attempting to walk on that, slip, and break my ass, and 2) at almost 600 pounds I draw such large amounts of "drive-by attention" I might as well hire a band to play fat person tuba music behind me while I walk.

Anyway, I feel excellent and had to get that out. It's sure nice to remember that it's possible to be truly overcome with positive emotions after so long of either feeling nothing or being overcome with negative ones.

It's wild though. We know that it's making the healthy choices physically and emotionally that ultimately make us happy. We know the comfort that large amounts of unhealthy food and lounging about offer us is superficial, brief, and false. Yet, we so often forget that truth, or convince ourselves the lies ARE the truth.

I don't ever want to lose sight of those realities again.

So, one day at a time.

Tomorrow I plan to continue on and keep remembering that if I love myself and work hard on being healthy I KNOW that when it's over I will feel damn good.


  1. It's so funny that even though I only met you for a few hours I told Jeff everytime I read your posts I hear your voice as I am reading. and your personality totally comes out. You totally cracked my up on some of the things you said tonight. Don't those endorphines feel great? That's what your feeling. It's the natural high, and damn it's legal, free and good for you and you can partake in it anytime you want. You gotta love it. Yeah!!I'm happy for you.

  2. Congrats!!! It's a really good feeling when you enjoy your workouts. It's especially hard for me to remember that good feeling when I'm cozy in my house and it's freezing cold outside. But, this post reminds me of that good feeling and has encouraged me a little bit more to go to the gym tomorrow. :)


  3. Holy crap dude. That's almost exactly what I used to do! I'd chuck on MTV at night (that's usually when they have they've gotten the crappy programs out of the way and are just playing music), and "dance" (well, I called it dancing, but it was basically what you do, laterally stepping from leg to leg) and shadow box. I wasn't jogging while I was shadow boxing, though, and I couldn't keep it up for anywhere near your time, so dude, you are freakin KILLING it!

    That's just so awesome, man. And dude, I know what you mean about walking outside. It took a while for me to get used to the thought that people might stare at me, but you'll eventually get passed it.

    But yeah man, keep on kicking ass! :D

  4. When you are able to find a routine that you can tolerate and enjoy, it becomes that much easier to stick to it. As far as drawing an audience, don't worry about it. For the longest time I avoided walking in public due to the perception that I was just another fat guy who was putting band aids on gunshot wounds. I got past it. I am doing this for myself. That is another thing about the blogging. When you make your struggle available to the world, you easily get past what others think.

    -Jared from

  5. Great post - It's nice to hear that you like what you're doing and it's obviously working (sweat/weight loss). It's hard to find that sometimes. Keep up the great work. Maybe once Spring comes you'll feel more like walking outside. Screw the "drive-by attention" you're doing what's good for you.

  6. love love love the upbeat nature of this post and, yes, I shall have that song as an earworm all day :)

  7. WOW, how wonderful for you to find an exercise program that works for you. And to enjoy it is a real bonus.

    Now you've got that song stuck in my head :o(

  8. You have a great attitude!! And i have to admit i put my mp3 on and i dance around the house with my husband either laughing at me or trying to cover his ears!! hey it should be something you enjoy :)

  9. Way to go! I am so proud of you! Concentrating on what we can do, instead of what we can't do, is so important on this journey.

  10. Awesome! I'm glad that you found something that you not only enjoy but something that will show you great results.

  11. That is WICKED! I know exactly what you mean by this... When you start to actually enjoy the exercise and feel like you can do more.

    Very awesome. Good for you!

  12. I'm so happy for you. Finding an exercise program that we can do whether it's of our own device such as yourse, the gym or a DVD and actually liking it is a wonderful thing. As I've said in my blog before I Chair Dance because I can't stand for long and all that malarky. Kudos to you hon. As for people staring at you well they can just take a hike. I get that too. I'm not only obese but have bandages on my lower legs. Kids especially and women are the worst. I just smile and ride on (It's when I go to a store and am in those mobility thingers or getting in and out of the car) But as for slipping on ice I can't blame you. I was looking at your chart and you're doing really well. Keep up the good work. My son weighed 535 and had gastric bypass I guess that was the way to go for him as his wife is a nurse and could see to it that he did what he was supposed to and take care of him. But he told me he would have been happier if he could have done it himself. So go figure. Keep up the good job and I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts. Have a blessed day.

  13. Way to go! Keep up the great work and the awesome posts.

  14. Yay! I'm so happy for you. I agree with Jared above--you're doing this for YOU, so who cares what other people think?

  15. Great job. Exercise definitely has brightened up my life and I'm happy to see that it has had a positive impact on yours as well.

  16. fabulous! I need to get my arse moving more now too.


  17. Great post and love your attitude!

  18. I LOVE what you said about (I'm totally paraphrasing here...) recognizing the difference between real and false comfort, and the stories we tell ourselves. You are SOOOO right!! That thought has helped me A LOT over the past few days, so thank you.

    You are doing a kick-ass, crazy fantastic job & I am so proud of you! Thanks for being such a huge source of support to me, for all the times you listen to me, encourage me, share with me -- I couldn't do this without you.

    Here's to another FANFUCKINGTASTIC day!!

  19. THat is what I like to hear! Give yourself credit and pats on the back and enjoy it all (and I should take my own advice to heart!)! You are changing like never before!

    Thanks fat announcers... Yeah. Drive- by attention doesn't stop. Obviously you read my post way back about it...

  20. You are doing such an awesome job, and I totally agree with taking it one day at a time! Keep up the great work!

  21. Good for you man, sounds like you had a great day!

  22. Great job on the workouts. Your writing style is excellent. It completely pulls me in and I want to hang around a while and read more.

  23. You rock! I'm so happy that you're taking such good care of yourself and enjoying it. This blog is such a wonderful document of your journey. I know it will also be an excellent tool for you in the future (to reflect on).

    Thanks for you comment on my last posting. I really appreciate how much it made me laugh and helped bring me out of my funk.

  24. When/if you ever get down on yourself, we're going to have to refer you back to you for encouragement.
    Amazing attitude.

    And wise to stop yourself before you get burned out... been there.

  25. Dude you have exactly the right attitude. Keep it up. Move more eat less and more healthy and you will get where you want to go.

    Seriously GREAT JOB. I am proud of you!

    Something that might interest you would be to calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate. This is the number of calories your body will burn at rest for 1 day. I think it is a great way to look at what you need to do in order to create a caloric deficit. A 3500 calorie deficit equals one pound.

    Again I am really impressed with your attitude. Keep it up!

  26. I'm so excited you've found something you enjoy doing. I have to tell you I don't know if I could keep that up for that long, it's wonderful what you're accomplishing. Feeling good feels great doesn't it? Way to go!!!